Off to see the bariatric wizard

What a day. Started at 8:30 a.m. at St. Mark's Hospital. I thought I had filled out a hill of forms already; what awaited was a mountain. There were even forms to sign saying I had read and signed the other forms -- in quintuplicate. Then, a 3-inch binder to read. That, followed by a presentation and detailed Q&A session, took up most of the morning. Next, it was a short walk over to surgical registration. Yep, more paperwork. Then off to see the pre-op nurse. Q&A covering two of the forms I had earlier filled out, confirmation of what I had signed twice before, paying a deposit (the second of the day, dealing with the co-pay part the insurance doesn't cover), and then . . .  waiting for the blood drawing and an EKG. The wait was about 45 minutes, but once it was over the rest went fast -- four vials of blood drawn expertly by a chatty but pleasant nurse, and an EKG that took several minutes to set up, and about 10 seconds to actually do. Oh, I forgot to mention the 20-ounce bottle of a lemon-flavored, salty SUPER laxative to slam down at 5 p.m. The last meal was at 2 p.m. -- a grilled chicken sandwich and a small, say-goodbye-to-it-forever chocolate shake. (Yes, that latter actually was suggested by the medicos). But I digress. At 5 p.m., Barbara --with a smirk of expectation on her face -- delivered the aforementioned concoction, on ice (recommended). Yuck. But 20 minutes later it was all down . . . and about an hour later, so was I -- in the throne room. You do NOT want to know. Let's just say, it works . . . and then some. Until bedtime, I'm supposed to pound down the water; then nothing to eat or drink from then on. I have a good book waiting for me in the faux ivory palace of our condo, where I have been assured I will return, repeatedly, for the next several hours. At 8 a.m. Tuesday, I will be at the hospital, off to see the bariatric wizard. I should be in a hospital bed recovering well before noon, and if all goes as it is supposed to, out and home on Thursday, where Barbara will be watching over me. Oh, for those interested -- including some of my new online buds reading this from the OH Men's Forum  -- the RNY gastric bypass is almost exclusively a laproscopic procedure these days, instead of being, well, gutted. That means six small incisions for various instruments, and a camera. The advantage is more rapid recovery and fewer complications. And, I know you guys are dying to ask -- usually, you don't have to have the dreaded catheter; you will get to walk Lil Willy to the Woo-Woo Room yourself -- not PCV pipes up the old woo-hoo. And that "airway" gizmo goes down your throat after you are out, and it's removed before you wake up. The former was a great relief to me; the latter also a relief, but less so. Little Bob was very happy. (BTW, this and other entries about my journey can be found at www.remims.blogspot.com, if you're interested)