MRSA, Elderly Codependent & Request for Prayers

Hello Guys,

I have a family member back in the states who has gone from cocaine addiction to pain medication (oral morhine) addiction. And now has Methicillin Resistant Staphyllococus Aureus (MRSA) in an absess around / in the spinal column.

Just wanted to ask that you send strong positive thoughts/ prayers in her direction. Would truly appreciate any and all such energy sent to her and her family, especially her elderly mother, who is worried sick and endangering her own health by trying to take care of her and pick up the pieces.

Additional info:

Prayers/ thoughts should probably be for long term change. You see,  this relative is 52 and has no career and her house is going up for auction - she will lose everything.

In eight weeks from now, when her hospital term and rehabilitation are done, maybe her boyfriend will take her in maybe he won't. We don't know. 

In combination with her addiction, she has always been able to codepend on entrepreneur-type companion addicts, who provided her money for house payments, for health insurance, for spending money, you name it. Most people, me included, wonder how she has managed to survive for so long. My only guess is, simply on the pity of the addict/ husbands, who were somehow (?) more independent and better able to function. It's an odd food chain that we're all throwing our hands up in the air about, trying to figure out.  Then, there's the poor single, elderly mother scrambling about trying to clean up the mess single handedly, feeling terminal guilt, wondering if she has somehow caused the whole mess.

Her son has thrown $11,000 at her over the past year, to no avail...

A couple of years ago, she also decided she was going to breed Rottweilers and has two huge (but nice) dogs that are about to meet fate as well. The potential for suffering is huge.

Very very depressing situation and sorry to burden you all with the introduction of this. The only thing that may possibly help is prayer and positive thoughts from you all. Any attempts above and beyond this seem just to suck others into the whole mess and perpetuate this person's situation.

Thanks so much in advance,

Dave

All good wishes pointed your way... that's about all a person can do... stay safe russ

Hi Russ,

Even her son, when I asked if there was anything I could do, responded, "Maybe call Dr. Kevorkian?" That's how how hopeless it seems, at least in terms of any non-celestial intervention.

Not sure how he made out so well in spite of all this. He was born when she was still 16. She even hasn't been semi-normal since age 20. Maybe he was just determined to be different. I suppose it works that way sometimes.

Thanks,

Dave

I am praying that God will work in her life. Joe

Thanks, Joe!

I think she was a very difficult child to begin with, then her middle class parents (her stepdad and mom) were caught up in fighting to get their own emotional needs met in this new marriage, to the extent that she didn't get sufficient discipline and guidance (would have required a lot!).

Her real Dad just bailed, but the mom probably should have seen that "Mr. Flash" had previously left a whole family full of children before marrying her.

Not having any of my own children, I shouldn't judge, but I wonder if people truly understand the repercussions of "FALLING in love," divorce, remarriage, repeatedly "refusing to put up with any more of this sh**" and so on, actually have on kids just a little ways down the road. Raising kids to be responsible and productive takes so much attention, I don't see how any parent would have the time or energy to even think of their own needs. Just too risky.

And it repeates itself generation after generation...

Best Wishes,

Dave

Your comments on the responsibilities of Fatherhood hit home....    my own Father decided that he couldn't  possibly be  burdened  with those hassles -  the sad part is that he had this epiphany after making  three boys.  Now he is growing elderly, drunk, in poor health, and miserable & seems confused that he does not hold a place of honor and that his views are not respected. My brothers and I don't withhold this from him out of resentment (well, at least  they don't) but you can't give someone that kind of  support if  it wasn't earned. I learned from this, and never had children as I felt that I was never ready for it. I am a Rockin' Uncle, though   

Makes you kinda wonder why some people can handle family planning in their teenage years and others can't handle it in their late 20's or 30's, doesn't it.

Then, people can seem to rationalize anything.

But you said that you are managing billion dollar accounts now. Do you think your home life made you tougher in the long run?

How about the other two brothers?

I think the experience made me tougher, and made my younger brother a better father and family man.  My other brother doesn't do well at all....... It was only through a lot of luck, and some hard knocks, that my younger brother and I excelled.... we both could have easily been incarcerated by now.

You mentioned your other brother. I guess most men to some extent have a clear message: You make at least a minimal income and if you don't , no one's going to take care of you. What's really bad is when you have a female who is attractive enough to attract reasonably well-off addicts and live off of the spoils until 50 or so as an addict.

You talk about a mess!

I better qualify my position, I hope I didn't misspeak before. My company is working on a billion dollar total project.  Our fee isn't a billion, but it is still the largest project that we have worked on to date.  I'm managing the work that my discipline provides, and represent that design and our company at client and owner meetings.  There are many highly educated and experienced people on this project.... I am expected to hold my own with them. Believe me, I like to toot my own horn    but don't want to throw out a load of bull****