Separation/Divorce after WLS?

Sometime back I had posted about a stat that I had run across that supposedly 50% of married couples get divorced within one year after WLS ..  Don't know how accurate that is, but it seems the consensus is there is a  pretty high rate, compared to the general population ..

i think it has to do with the couple more than anything to do with surgery i know i put off surgery too long and because of it my life went down hill and my wife left me a month ago just remeber when your out enjoying your new life to include the woman and i think a strong foundation will last years after were gone but a weak one will crumble within a few years.

Keep in mind that 50%+ of all relationships break-up anyway!  And if youo aren't being treated the way you want, have given it your best shot and still remain miserable, why the hell not try something else? It's not that easy when kids are involved, but you can look at it a lot of different ways, including the fact that if you are in a miserable relationship you are modeling for your kids how to stay stuck in a miserable relationship.  One big problem with kids and divorce is that kids aren't made overtly aware of the problems until the divorce is occurring.  Family therapy, let alone couples therapy, is seldom considered as a ay to alleviate some of the kids pain and sufferring. All-in-all, I can only model for my kids how to live this short time we have on the planet.  I hope I model giving everything I choose my best shot. CB

I've been married for 5 years and had surgery as a married man. We both are happier than ever!

I think my relationship with my wife has improved since my surgery.  My wife is, and has always been very tiny, and now we look better together,  have more fun together.  We dont seem to be irritated about all the little things anymore.  One thing with me, is I was thin when I met my wife.  I got fat after, and as much of a strain that that put on our marriage, we got through it together, and we will get through anything the future holds for us as well.  Thats what love is all about, FOR BETTER OR WORSE  kevin

WOW: Me too; 2 years post op; 320lbs to 170lbs; 27 years; and she said good bye. Lots of reasons; I take full responsibility for my part. No infidelity; but huge emotional abandonment on each of our parts. Very confusing time; love flirting; afraid of dating. In my darkest times; wonder if I should try to get back together; the " misery" I know would be much better than the "fear" of the unknown. For today I am attempting to be a dad to my 11 year old son; using the court recognized counselor; and following her recomendations for now. My 3 adult children; are very angry with each of us. Just for today; accepting that I will experience; fear; hurt; lonliness and many many other painful emotions; and THEY WONT KILL ME. I do know this; I would have the surgery again in a heartbeat. Thank Kev- 

I am having a hard time too. My wife and I were both overweight when we got married. Her self esteem has always been very low and when I lost weight it got worse. Now that I have had abdominoplasty and have a flat stomach its even worse. She is constanty saying how skinny I am and that She thinks I will leave her for a young skiiny girl. I really love my wife and am working really hard to make things work. It is a struggle because of her self esteem and the attention I now get from other women. Hopefully, I won't become a statistic

Can your wife get WLS?  She is probably a little envious of your results, and has security issues.  If you don't mind my suggestion, self-pay if you have too.

I wish she would only for her own health and confidence. You would think that she would want to after seeing my results, but she won't even think about it. She has good insurance and I know she would qualify. She would rather sit around and cry about how ugly and fat she thinks she is. All I can do is be there for her and prove I'm not going anywhere. Thanks for the suggestion. You hit it on the head.

I have always had a great supportive wife *****ally supported and helped me through surgery. 3 years later things have changed alot. I almost see us in divorce within the next 5 years. IAnd I will atribute it somewhat to the results of my surgery. My wife never had to be concerned about me ever running around on her because I absolutely love her. However the last 2 years the only relationship we have is me giving her money and short stints of companionship which usually end early with her falling asleep. She had no concern  for me leavubg her even when I discuss how unhappy I have been. I have had oppritunites to have other relationships over the years and never concidered it. With the better looks and the slimmer build I continue to get oppritunutes and am having a harder time not taking advantage of something as simple as a walk that dosent start with a reason why I need to work some more overtime to pay for this or can you add onto the house for the 3rd time in two years... I probably haven't given you a good impression. We got through WLS great, But now,, there are issues.