Talk at Duke - Need Input from the Locker Room

Hi Guys, I am giving a talk to pre-med and pre-shrink students at Duke University Hospital in April with one of my WLS shrinks at Duke. She has asked to talk about my life before, during, and after WLS from a mental as well as physical prospective.  I have a pretty good idea of what I want to say overall but I thought I would open my talk by setting the stage to these future doctors about the daily discrimination we have all experienced as an MO person. I’m thinking it will be a couple of power point slides filled with the stupid things people have said, actions they have done, or words I have been called when I was 460lbs. I would love your help in adding to my list. If you don't want to post them here please email them to me. Thanks for your help brothers, Tim

Phases  You took the easy way out by having surgery.  Can’t you just eat less? Etc…

Words I have been called;  Fat  Chunky  Husky  Large  Jumbo  Tiny  Tubby  Lard Ass  Fat Ass  Pleasantly Plum  Big Boned Obese  Morbidity Obese  Super Morbidly Obese Etc…

Actions from others:  Never make eye contact, pretend your not there  Disapproving looks in general Not having your opinions taken seriously in a business situation  Having people at a Chinese lunch buffet ask me to pay extra  Never want to sit next to you  Stepping out of the way in a wide hallway to let you pass as if you needed 8 foot to pass.  Passed over for promotions  Jokes about the fat guy are still OK in the media Asking for a seat belt extender on a plane and having the flight attendant announce to all the other around me that I needed one.  Ect… 

Tim, I have often said that I could visit a doctor or ER with a limb dangling from my body by the skin only, and the first thing the doctor would say would be "You really should think about losing some weight." You would be doing mankind a great service by helping these docs-to-be understand that being overweight/obese does NOT make us oblivious to that fact.  Additionally, just because we are visiting them for something does NOT mean that we need their standard speech about how we should lose weight - we are aware that we should lose weight - but we still need them to treat our broken arm/sinus infection/canker sore or whatever. Good luck with your speech.  I know you will do great.  Show them your before and after pics - that should make a pretty serious impression right off the bat. John

That a good one, Thanks. I remember years of doctor visits and weight was always part of the discussion even if I was there for a bad cold. My PCP has been very supportive of my weight loss effort for many years without preaching to me on what I need to do all the time. One of the reasons I have been with him for 10 years. Thanks, Tim

Great point, Like we don't know we're fat already and on the brink of death. THANX Dr obvious.

Phrase: Just cut back to one dessert a day. Words I have been called: "Fatty fatty two by four, can't fit through the bedroom door!" Actions from others: No ***** or oral sex.

You crack me up....

Tim, It's funny that you mentioned the experience with the seat belt extender. I was on a plane, with my wife, and I managed to sit us next to an emergency exit ( I needed the extra leg room because of two very bad knees). I had to ask the stewardess for a seat belt extender and then she informed me that I can't sit in this isle because you can't sit next to an emergency exit with an extender on ????? I still to this day don't understand that one but to make matters worse then she told me I had to change seats, but my wife could sit there,  HUH?   She moved me to a new seat, with the whole plane watching, and luckly there was another seat available for my wife next to me. Very embarassing!!!       Good luck with your presentation. Dan

Great write-up Paul. I forwarded it to my brother who is in the "6 month diet and exercise program" phase of his WLS journey. Your write-up is an excellent manifesto for WLS. Thank you for taking the time and energy to put it together.  Boner

Congrats on being selected to give a speech to the newbie docs, Tim! I can think of no one better to present "our story" than you. One thing I would impress on these guys is the important role the shrink could play in helping pre-ops better understand the psycholocical changes most of us go through. Everything from the inevitable feelings of "what the hell did I just do to myself" all the way to the changing dynamics with your family, friends, changing addictions, etc. Post-WLS depression seems to hit most of us at one time or another. Such an important piece of the WLS puzzle yet completely dismissed when it comes to "being prepared." Best of luck, Boner