I had a meltdown yesterday

and I survived.  I've mentioned in the past that I have trouble prioritizing things and that I'm no good with "to do" lists.  I've had to set up doctors' appointments for referrals and I just lost it yesterday.  The worst part is that I wasn't sure whether my PCP had already done a referral on one of the docs and I called his office and confirmed my appt but didn't leave most of the other info that is usually needed.  Then I started feeling really guilty about my response.  So, I called back a couple hours later to appologize and left that on his voice male (all I could access at the time). Luckily, today I'm feeling better but I'm still frustrated.  I'm a junk food junkie and I want to go for therapy for that.  My new shrink is in a behavior center, but they don't have outpatient programs for food addictions.  I've been doing blind calling to individual therapists in my area as provided by my mental health carrier and it's very frustrating.  I called Catholic Charities this afternoon and they did have a possibility of a therapist about 60 miles away.  That's just not feasable.  I'll rest a little and try another day. I had sworn off Overeaters Annonymous because I gained 300 pounds over the course of the 20 years that I went there.  But, now I realize that I never went there since I was diagnosed as being bi-polar and that condition, without treatment, may have adversely affected my adherence to OA.  I can give it a try.  Even if it doesn't work, it may end up being a resource for finding therapists who work on food addictions. For the next few days I'll just stay home since I Hate the cold.

Hey Bob, sometimes the more we hurry, the more we get behind... get some rest. tomorrow wil be a better day... congrats on recognizing your frustration and stepping back Russ

Thanks Russ.  I just needed to get this out of me.  I'm glad that I didn't stew about it.  I do know that tomorrow's another day.  If my meds weren't working, I'd be lost.

Hi Bob, I agree with Russ. Just hit "off" button and let things settle down a bit. Contrary to what we always hear, things can wait for awhile. Do things when your're ready and try not to worry so much about what people think.  Doug

Hi Bob, There's a Taoist principle I like--but don't follow very well!--it's "Don't push the water." I take it to be a version of "go with the flow," not in a half-ass way but by not fighting so hard to get what we want the way we want. I think you did just right going with the flow of needing to vent here. Also, I think calling the doc's office back was the right move to take bad pressure off of yourself. Almost 30 years ago I went to OA meetings for a time. Hard to believe how upset I was at weighing in at a measly 250! By the time I had WLS I had gottent up to 345+. The thing about the OA meetings is that after each one I drove through Mickey D's and got a Big Mac, fries and choc. shake. Yummy. Buy did that taste good. The problem, of course, was me. I never got a food sponsor, never made one day of the eating program. But I still remember how hungry I was after the meetings and how great that fast food tasted/ Was I sick, or what?