New Joke!

"A Salary Raise Request"  I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Dear Penis, After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised , the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing protective clothing. You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. And if all this is not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the work place carrying two suspicious-looking bags. Sincerely, The Management

Good one. As a matter of fact my penis gets paid for piece work. Every time he does his job a dollar goes into a special box. Every year at Valentines Day my wife and I  take the accumulated bundle and do something romantic with it.  It has been kind of fun in that we want to make as much money as we can so the romantic event can be as extravegant as possible.  Also I am a numbers kind of guy and I like to keep track how well he does. When we first got married we were collecting $120-$130 per year but now we are doing good to break $100. This is still pretty good but I miss the good old days. When he does his job especially well and far exceeds my wife's expectations she just might add a dollar of her own. Maybe too much information. Rich

Are you serious?  OMG that's too funny!

How does the saying go?  Young, dumb, and full of ***   I think I could get $300 easily on your plan! LOL!

The thing is I only count what he does with a partner. He can do a lot better single handed, so to speak. Way too much information. Rich

If I counted that too I'd make a grand, EASY!

On that investment schedule I wouldn't even keep up with inflation