OT: Weight "image" and job oppertunities

OK this is off topic somewhat, and may be a little more drama than most post. But sticking to the core question:  Can people who knew you when you were at your heaviest, and had a negative attitude toward you regarding your weight, really change their opinion of who you are today based on who you were then? Background: About five years ago, I was up for a job promotion. The hiring manager (Mr. X) selected someone else over me, and during a follow-up discussion told me that his final choice came down the fact that at 400+lbs that I did not have enough “executive presence” carrying that much weight to be a good representative of the company or the hiring manager’s organization. Pissed me off at the time, and put my advancement on hold for a while, but I moved on to another less desirable role, under a different manager, and Mr. X moved on to bigger and better opportunities.  Now five years later, I’m down to 220 lbs, looking and feeling better. Mr. X has moved up a few more notches in the corporate ladder. And now Mr. X is in position to replace the current President of the division.  Mr. X has a new VP working for him, and that VP has asked me to join a new team they both are organizing to fix a problem that the current President sees as critical and a high priority. So if I join the team and we do well, then Mr. X is a shoe in to become the next president of the division.  I am sure that the VP asking me to join the team knows nothing about Mr. X’s  “executive presence” comment. And though I have seen Mr. X in the hallways and around the buildings over the last five years, we never had another conversation other than to exchange hellos, but he has seen me at my current weight for the last 6 months or moving downward to my current weight many times over the last 18 months . What my question is: Can people like Mr. X really change their opinion of who you are today based on who you were then?  If "it's" not my weight will there be something else that will become the next no “executive presence” issue in his opinion of me? I know at times I still feel like I am just as heavy as I was when I picture myself mentally. I still get a thrill slipping on my small pants each morning when they button up with a little room to spare. I am not resistance to taking this new job offering out of revenge, what Mr. X said was the cold hard truth as he saw it. But I hesitate because in my mind I believe that Mr. X will always see me as “lacking something”, based on his prior opinion, and so he will effectively slow down my career advancement in either direct or indirect ways whether he admits that he is or not. If I chose not to join his team he will most likely still be the next president, and I will still end up in some way indirectly reporting to him, though at a level or two lower than being directly on his team. Thanks for your input ... and kick my ass if I need it. Herb

Herb, Every cir****tance is different, of course, but I would talk with the VP who wants me on his team and tell him my history with Mr. X, tell him your weight loss history, and briefly describe how you maintain your current weight. I would present this as an issue he should be aware of, but would also use it as an opportunity for him to see some of your inner strengths. I would let him see it as a project where you faced a difficult challange and found a way to achieve success. I think it is important for the VP to know in case Mr. X ever brings it up to him. If Mr. X's comments are positive, then the VP at least doesn't have to appear ignorant of your past and can remark favorably on your achievement. If Mr. X's comments are negative then at least you have not put the VP in a bad position, and have given him ammo to counter Mr. X's statements. Obviously, this is very much a personal decision, and depends on your relationship to your company and your comfort in telling your story. You are not obligated to tell the VP, but it may be a good thing to do. Best wishes, Joe

Thanks, I was not thinking about the VP in the middle. It may be a good idea to tip him off before we talk futher about joinin the team.

I say that if it can help your career than go for it.  Some day you will get the chance to **** on his grave.  For now, don't suck up but play along.

Money can sooth ruffled feathers

The corporate world can be a cruel and unfair place.... and everyone's gotta eat a little **** sooner or later.   I say take the position and the $ - and laugh all the way to the bank.  For extra fun,  try to sabotage Mr. X..... as long as you don't get caught.  Or splash a little **** in his coffee cup, it's one of my favorite stress relievers and good fun too  

Yea, a little **** might be perfect to level the playing field. 

I do think people's opinions of us change for the better. I've sensed it myself. Go with it and make it work for you. My opinion of "those" people has changed somewhat too, but I keep those thoughts to myself.

I hate corporate politics. I was deep in that bull**** at my last job and it truly makes work miserable. don't worry what that jackass' opinion is of you now. 1) do you do your job well? 2) do you feel better physically? next time you see him in the hall give him a swift kick in the ballz and say, 'how's that for 'executive presence' *****!' hang in there. :)

"give him a swift kick in the ballz and say, 'how's that for 'executive presence' *****!"   I gotta remember that one....