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OMG That is LOW like seriously!! They let you get away with that kind of language on here??? I had RNY pie is a dirty dirty word... I am leaving now! *slams door!*

Thank you, Boner!  That's an honorable position, and one that carries great weight and responsibility. I only hope that I can serve the position well.... for the sake and welfare of our emotionally-challenged female WLS-ers.

Now Baja Addict understands the secret to a happy marriage!

I have to admit that it's really difficult being angry when your getting a great BJ from a lovely lady.... Kind of sucks the wind out of your sails if you know what I mean!!   Also just to reiterate CF's rules "No F*CKING DRAMA ALLOWED" Tim

I am sorry that you are going through this difficult moment. I am sorry I did not respond to this sooner. My apologies to the guys that may read this and groan, but this lady is a patient, fellow WLSer, who is asking for help. You had weight loss surgery to improve your health. To make sure that you can be a healthy woman, wife, mother, daughter friend for all who need you. You are perplexed and afraid that your choice to be healthy may have threatened your relationship or may be perceived to have "the wrong intentions"! Your husband is experiencing a normal reaction. I am old enough (51) that if anyone is checking out my wife, I would be proud and wildly entertained. However, at a younger age, I may have reacted the same way. If your husband also suffers from the medical condition of Morbid Obesity ( a real medical condition), your successful adventure combined with his insecurity - is likely the cause of his reaction. There is no easy answer for this type of situation. As a bariatric surgeon and doctor, my stronget recommendation is that both of you go to couples counselling now. Before you start to resent him and before he realizes that he is killing the relationship. The two of you need to talk this out and resolve it quickly. Having a counsellor there as a referee to keep things civil, is the best.  Do not apporach it from the perspective of blame, but from the direction of your love for him, that you sense that something is bothering him and that you love him and want things to be right. Do this now! ASAP, before the insecurity, grows to resentment and the posion kills everythiing between you. Im my practice we warn everyone, that WLS can be the source of a break-up in a realtionship. What I have observed is that a strong relationship will get stronger after WLS. A strained one will fracture. Please seek counselling and help now. What is happening is not your fault. Just like your decision to have WLS to help your health and your life - the decision to obtain counselling is equally important.

Good luck to you and good health.

Dr. Dirk Rodriguez

Deaconess Hospital

Cincinnati, OH

Any information given in this message is general and not intended to address specific medical concerns. Always seek advice from your bariatric surgeon or personal doctor.

Dirk,

That's why *you're* the doctor!

Dave

Sorry doc..... groan!!  "before he realizes that he is killing the relationship." Your friend, Boner 

That is why I apologized ahead of time to all the guys. But the doctor hat went on, she is hurting and I had to say something. I have had this same talk with guy WLS'er. It is the toughest part of my practice.

Dirk,

Much better that the doctor hat be kept on all the time, than the opposite. One of my favorite posters on a running technique is an MD specializing in sports injuries/ prevention thereof. He's got nearly 7000 posts and nothing to gain materially from his contribution. That kind of person always amazes me.

I think you hit the nail on the head. It's the guy's insecurity, perhaps set off by something in a change of conidence or attitude on the part of the woman.

Dave