OT - Venus Vs. Mars (Humor)
From an email currently making the rounds on the Internet:
* * * * * *
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.
>
> Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
>
> I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
> much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
> never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
>
> FOR EXAMPLE:
>
> One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
> passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I
> just want you to hold me.'
>
> I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
>
> So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
>
> 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
> to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
>
> She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who
> I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
>
> Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
>
> The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
> her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
> unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
> several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
> take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
> compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
>
> We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
> earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was
> one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
> she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
> tennis.
>
> I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was
> almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
> excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go
> to the cashier.'
>
> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
> like it.'
>
> Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
> 'WHAT?'
>
> I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
> just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
> your shopping needs as a woman.'
>
> And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why
> can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
>
> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that *****
> knows I'm smarter than her.
>
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