"The Man Rules"

   this is pretty funny (and clever)!: The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down        Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules" Fr om the female side.       Now here are the rules from the male side.    These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!     1.   Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really . 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can -    to give them a bigger laugh.  

I especially agree with #1.  Err, rather the one that says: "Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!" I could probably have dealt with the other 20 or so "rules" being ignored if past girlfriends had followed this one.  I am hopeful that I may have recently found a girl that intuitively  follows this rule, but it's too early to tell, we haven't faced any critical tests yet. Thanks for the smiles.

Copied, Pasted, and emailed x100!!!!!! Too funny. I printed it out and am going to hang it in the break room for all of my female staff to read. I'm sure I'll be loved after lunch.

Be careful there, bro ..  As odd as it may sound,, it is quite possible for gals to make a claim for "sexual harrasment" based on the posting of cheesecake pics,  nudes, etc. in the workplace .   I've seen it happen, and the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled in their favor ..   &:-/)

Not a chance where I work. Any woman here that shouts Sexual harassment would be confessing her own sins. The women around here say things that would embarrass a salty sailor. But you are right discretion should be used

Clever!  I'm sending them to my sons, my male friends, and of course my wife!

Love IT!!!!!!!!!!

How true, How true!!!!

That tells it like it is.  

 

Dan