Support Systems

I had an open DS, and while the first few days were ruff...by the time I was released from the hospital I was Ok to take care of myself at home.  You might want to stock up some protein shakes and such at home... but other then that....you should be fine. Scott PS i'm sure even if your family doesn't support you100 percent, someone will be willing to stop by and make sure you don't need anything at the store ...right?

My brothers are obese.  They don't understand this at all.  Do what YOU have got to do for you.  They don't live in your body and maybe you will lead by example.  It's tough, but definitely doable with limited support.    I think it may be easier to not have a wife who is your eating buddy.   

I was in a similar boat, single, lived alone, fat family (though not as fat as I was).  They were against surgery, but not adamantly so (they'd seen me lose and gain and lose and gain over 100 pounds several times, the "just exercise/eat less" plan had been thoroughly tested).  But my support has come mostly two Internet discussion boards.  Your family may never be perfect.  You have to be prepared for inadvertent slights for a long time. I've had pointed out to me what I can't eat or how hard my life is now (especially right after surgery, some people don't understand the really bad part is temporary), people questioning what I  do eat, suggestions that I could have done it without surgery, suggestions that I am losing too little/too much/too fast/too erratically.  Occasionally, someone will tell a total stranger how fat I used to be, and it's hard to tell if they are bragging on me, messing with me, or just speaking without thinking.  I've been told my face looks sunken and I look too gaunt (it doesn't and I don't, they are just not used to seeing my my cheek bones under the fat).  I should stop losing weight (I shouldn't, I'm still borderline obese).  You have to remember there are correct answers, which come from your research, your doctors, your dietitian, and people who've been there before.  So be polite and ignore everyone else. That said, most people have come around, and I firmly believe even the occasional slighters have mostly good intentions.  My immediate family now clearly understands that I'm much better off and are optimistic about where I'm headed.  My close friends have been great, a few even seem more giddy than me about the progress.  One friend admitted that he was nervous it would change me (I was, according to him, larger-than-life, loud and jovial, and he was afraid I might tone down and/or become a jerk, since personality changes are common post-op).  But he said the changes have been small and "all positive," and I'm inclined to agree.  And now he has credibility with me, so I'll be sure to listen if he has criticisms later. Ultimately, though, a couple warnings.  One, you need to be self-motivated and self-sustaining to get through this.  Support is nice, but it starts with your attitude and effort.  Two, your goals and expectations need to be realistically geared towards health and quality of life.  Living longer, living with more freedom, less pain or inconvenience.  Many people assume that WLS will change their career, love life, family relationships, etc., and are disappointed when things don't improve or even worsen.  I have already seen some things improve dramatically and some things get worse because I haven't paid them enough attention.  Being thinner has increased many opportunities, but I am still responsible for taking advantage of them.