"Wacky OH Women - Or Is It Just Me?"

  I'm so glad we have this lockerroom where we guys can talk freely about "gal issues" on here .. !    (othewise I'd get trounced by the gals in bringing this up anywhere else on OH - ULP!)   But .. what is up with so many single women these days?   I have been out of the scene for 20+ years  --  are the single gals on OH a  truly representative cross-section of the single female scene out there today, or do a lot  of single post-ops just have "issues"???    I have started recently perusing the profiles of female  post-ops at or near goal that have attractive pics (O.K., I admit I'm a bit shallow there, but hey, I'm not that far from goal myself!) ..   looking to see if any are single and what their backgrounds are like, if so ..       Here are the first three I have come across (and, btw, I don't mean to offend anyone here - I'm pretty open-minded, and not a religious zealot, just for the record):    # 1. -  a VERY attractive older lady that apparently has ethnic roots to a Middle-Eastern country (based on her username, at least) ..  Looking at her pics, though, one notices her partying with, and even hugging and kissing other highly-attractive gals her age at clubs and such  ...   Yep .. you guessed it ..  reading her "interests" she proudly proclaims she's bi-sexual, and if you don't like it you dont have to be her friend and should "move on";    #2 -   an attractive young gal (despite being very thin now) who seems to be a great find but, upon reading her "story" she goes into explicit detail about how she was molested (and eventually violetnly raped) by her much older stepbrother, beginning from the time she was four until well itno her teens (apparently her mom didn't believe her claims)   ...  The gritty details of the acts and places described made me think I was reading an excerpt from a  J.T. LeRoy novel or something  ..  She's now apparently stil in therapy and bullemic and anorectic since her surgery (and this wasn't caught on the pre-op psych exam???)    I really worry for how much longer this gal has to live!;    #3 -  actually, no one gal in particular, but rather a category encompassing many of the other gals' profiles whom I have since come across that share a common theme:   their having been physically abused by ex-husbands in the past (some having several exes), still going through therapy trying to get over it .  etc. etc.      Please tell me this is all a bad nightmare and I'll wake up soon, guys  ...   &:-/)        

Well...hehe...you're the lawyer. I'll work on 3. Don't you suspect it's often physical abuse as a result of cracking under emotional abuse? (the latter is much harder to prove, I'm guessing).

Not that emotional abuse is an excuse for physical abuse, but both are equally bad. The gut response when under emotional abuse might be...you know...

SELF DEFENSE!

Dave

 

What if it is a bad nightmare but you can't wake up. .. just a thought. Actually, reading your post, I was wondering if most of us WLS people have something in common: something was (or is) a little wrong with us, and perhaps that caused (causes) us to 1) eat too much, 2) not exercise enough, or 3) not be concerned about our health and/or appearance. There is, as you know, a correlation between obesity and depression, just as there is a correlation between depression and disfunctional family histories. Maybe (and I only mean maybe)disfunctional families (and childhood abuse/trauma) can sometimes lead to depression, which can sometimes lead to obesity. I am not a psych, but it is obvious that there is a lot of hurting, wounded people out there. It is more obvious in females, but I wonder if some of us guys aren't as broken as some of the gals. Sorry to get so serious.  Hey, did you hear the one about the pilot who said over the loudspeaker, "I could really use some coffee and a ...." Joe

  Excellent point, Joe (and Russ) ..   Our thoughts are the same on that account ..  It's like that book "It's Not What Your're Eating, It's What's Eating You" ..    I think psychological problems, resulting often from not a happy upbringing, have a great deal to do with MO in a lot of cases ...   I know I had some "bumps" growing up, nothing horrible, but things that I wonder if hadn't happened how I would have otherwise turned out, at least weight-wise .. 

When i started dating again last year around this time like you i had been out of the scene for 10 years or so. I went out with on on few from 'hookups'and then i went out with on on few from eharmony. The one i'm with now and have been with for the past 11 months i met on eharmony. Like ALL women she has her quirks but she's much less crazy than most of the other women i went out with. I count myself fortunate because because above all she's learned to put up with me and my **** ;). I guess it all boils down to the old saying "it doesn't matter how beautiful she is or how cool you think she is, someone, somewhere is sick of her ****"

Yeah, the trick is to find the woman who will absorb your life energy, drive you crazy, and devour your soul the slowest.

Hi Jim, a lot of my friends have found said women!

Hey Paul... the board seems to be a safe place to come to grips with how we got how we are...admitting that you are an alcoholic is the first step in treating it... admitting you are abused, neglected, molested, have different preferences are the first steps in getting comfortable with you own skin... So the question is...."What made you fat?" There is an honesty here...we do not all have "Gland Problems" that make us fat... or some rare disorder that the docs can't fix... the days of thinging that you will find a tight body virgin, who is at your beck and call, and will serve you and have sex when you want ...those days are over.... On the questions of what made you fat....for me....family history that would make Wes Craven wince, and a mentality that smart people, had stupid people do physical work for them.... So when you are dating...the ladies will ask the question...."What made you fat???"" Seems like some of these ladies have progressed to answering that question.... Russ

"The days of thinking that you will find a tight body virgin, who is at your beck and call, and will serve you and have sex when you want ...those days are over...." WHAT???  I thought that was one of the fringe benefits to WLS!!!    I am SO bummed now.  Where's my Lexapro?   

What? I have to find a second tight bodied virgin, who is at my beck and call?