Men & Support Groups (Revisited) - Single Bummer

Guys ..  I'm REALLY bumming ...   I attended TWO different WLS support group meetings in my area Saturday ..   One was a very small group meeting and the other a luncheon at a nearby trendy restaurant in support of two up-coming WLS patients ..     Yet AGAIN, I was the only male WLS patient present (this makes four different meetings!) .  There were two guys at the luncheon, and I thought "FINALLY" .. but turns out they were support people (spouses) of two of the WLS patients there ..   (UGH)   Equaly dsiturbing to me has been the fact that all the gals at these meetings seem to be "happily married", whether pre-op or post-op (and love talking about it), even the few that  seem to flirt with me.  It's esp. perturbing whenever they seem eager to introduce me to their hubbys, the ones that certainly dont' look like THEY ever needed WLS (isn't that kinda like when an ex g/f invites you to her wedding?).  It's like "hey, let me show you what a/the winner looks like!"      Sorry if I seem like I'm geting a bit paranoid, but  I'm beginning to feel like the only single (nm) guy out there anymore, at least over 40 ..  &:-(...    I'm seriously considering forgetting about attending any more support group meetings in the future, as I have nothing in common with the attendees, other than the fact we have each had some type of WLS.  I end up leaving even more depressed than when I went in ..   I think I was about ready to drive to the nearest psych hospital by Saturday evening ..   &:-/)   Question (out of curiosity):  were you single at the time of your surgery, and are you still so today?   If you met someone later, how long after your surgery?      Thanks for your help (and hopefully encouragement)  

I went to the one in Fort Worth on Saturday, at Rise and Shine.  I have not yet had the surgery, but I will in December.  There were at least 4 other men besides me, all who had the surgery. 

Not to sound critical, and I truly hope I do not offend you, but these are support groups, where you meet others who have had the surgery, and SUPPORT them.  The one thing you have in common with everyone there, is the main purpose for the group.  Talk about little bumps in the road, what you did to over come it and what  you should have done, etc.   I have been to the one in Hurst (meets at Bayleys) and again, I was not the only male. You will be out numbered, that is for sure.  I think the reason is men don't feel they need support groups, they can tackle it on their own.  They may be able to, but it is a lot easier with a support cast.

Paul, The support meetings I go to are probably 90 to 95% female. I find this generally agreeable,  and it is certainly a supportive environment (all the ladies are glad to have a guy there****asionally there are lllooonnnggg discussons about "feelings" which can leave me wanting to shout ("Who gives a S***!"), but I always refrain because these are nice people who are caring and sensitive, yadda yadda. I agree with George - these are support meetings for people who, in some cases, are dealing with difficult issues and find strength in being with others like them (and you). Although you may meet some nice, single, attractive women, that is not the purpose of the meeting. Perhaps you could ask the ladies if they have ideas for meeting single women in your area - I suspect you will get some ideas and encouragement - they are there to support you, as well. Joe Bear 

Occasionally there are lllooonnnggg discussons about "feelings" which can leave me wanting to shout ("Who gives a S***!"), but I always refrain because these are nice people who are caring and sensitive, yadda yadda.     LOL ..  reminds me of one of my former clients, a very good bud and VBG patient ..  Her husband also had VBG and she therefore used to reluctantly drag him along with her to the (mostly F) support group meeting for their surgeon .. She said all the "girl talk 'would drive him nuts ..  !  

Hello my Texas brother.... Here's a couple of suggestions.... 1- give a shout out on the Texas board....Say "I want to go to a support group where I'm not the only dude.....Guys...where do you go..." 2- unlock you profile...no one can send you a private message...If a guy wants to tell you something , and not have every chick in the world read it...he can't do  it with your profile locked 3- the only thing yo have in common is WLS...duh dude....that like going to AA and saying all we have in common is we are all drunks.... 4- if you wanna meet single women in texas....go to the sex board...or do another shout out...."I wanna meet single women to share the WL experience"..here again, you have to unlock you profile...I don;t think you wan the kinda women who will put on a general forum...."Hey i'm willing to give it up"...but I may be wrong Be open to new things...I find we generally get what we want, it just ain't wrapped the way we expected... now, another thing....start you own mens group....you be the moderator... Chat back....seems that all the time you spend with the legal books have left your "Hunting " skills rusty Russ

I didn't know my profile was "locked"   how do I unlock it?   More later, but one thing for now is that my post in here about one gal got back to her and it embarrassed me to find that out  ..  &:o   Do gals regularly peruse our forum?   I wish we could set up a private one (open only to males) so that what we can talk freely and what we talk about stays within the group members.  It's sorta like the Men's breakout group at OH .. we let a gal in during the discussion in S.A., but then it was our lovable relationships counselor .. (we joked "she doesn't count"  lol)..  After all this is the "lockerroom" .. 

Hey Paul, on the unlocking part....look under the pic of the brazillian flag...see your name is black....if you click on it...nothing happens....the other names are in blue...if you click on them it goes to our profile, even if the profile is empty...then someone would be able to send you a direct message...at least that is how I do it...there may be different ways too...i'm stupid on web site navigation.... as far as I konw there is no way to block the chicks out....they come in and get their jollies thinking they are looking through a key hole... What happened with the chick that over heard you messages...did you call her a flabby hag???? There are a bunch of guys in your area...you just have not hit them yet...dave worchortski, paul in dallas, a bunch.... something about the ladies....this is a very selfish journey...you really have to put yourslef first, to get it to work...so people and get really self absorbed....if that makes any sense....? Hell just look at us guys when we talk about lifting weights.... looks like you have come a long way....so what are you looking for with the guys....someone to slam down a protein shake with, or work out???? or maybe some else who have had their nutz drop in the toilet??? and the chicks.....well lets just say....."Your odds are good, but your goods are odd" now lets see how bad the overies come out of the wood work on that one Stay in touch Russ

and the chicks.....well lets just say....."Your odds are good, but your goods are odd"
Russ, you politically incorrect bastage!! Boner

Complement accepted Russ