divorce rate is higher after WLS ?

Did the dynamics of your spousal relationships change after surgery ?

 

Just wondering if the divorce rate is higher after WLS ?

 

If after years of being a doormat, how do spouses handle the change.

Anecdotally the divorce rate is much higher post-op, and I believe some studies have supported this.  Obviously a lot of factors could combine to cause this (more opportunities to cheat, spouse wishing you were still fat, spouse a homebody while you've become a socialite, spouse was always an SOB/B but you didn't have the guts to leave, general "live every day to the fullest" or "new is good" attitude prevails, not to mention just shallow/inflated ego). I think most good marriages will probably improve or stay the same after WLS whereas bad ones probably face more challenges.  But what do I know? I've never had a good marriage, just a couple bad engagements.

Good question about being a doormat. I'll ask my wife what my answer is.

Well,...if they married you for better or worst. They've had the worst,...this is the better part.

Buckeye said something about the mostly femal esupport groups  becoming a temptation to cheat. I've never been to a  support groups (they don't exist here), so I would not know first hand.

My wife is extremely patient and even seems to admire my obsession with exercise/ ability to avoid injury in spite of. That would have been the only potential problem area for us.

So new opportunities, new obsessions. Those are a couple of big problem areas.

Dave

 Sadly, someone mentioned (it may have been Dr. Nickerson, the "relationship" lecturer) to us at the OH San Antonio conference that there is something like a 50% divorce rate during the first year or two following WLS!   < CLUNK >   So, yes, it can really change the dynamics of situations ..  Check out the recent posts on the forums re:  "sabotaging" the WLS spouse's diet ..  that was a real shocker and eye-opener for me!   I was following some time back on the forums the story of a gal that seemed to be happily married in her blog, pre-op, but as she became several months post-op it came out that her husband was really abusive and she finally decided to make a break from him ..  I guess she was afraid to jump ship before the surgery, in that she was somewhat dependent on him due to her weight and health issues at the time ..   I could only say "you go, girl!" 

I think I'm always amazed out how supportive and good natured Japanese women can be. She not trying to screw me over or a throw a wrench in the works or mess up my plan. If I like doing it, she supports it and is often amused by it. I have to recommend them.

Dave

All right, Dave, I'm sold, unfortunately the local selection of Japanese women in my market is pretty sparse.  If ever there was a market void to be filled by international trade.  I'd imagine lots of Japanese guys wouldn't mind a Southern Belle for a change of pace.  I need to write out a business model.

Maybe become a homestay parent?, if you're under 35, nice with a house and good job, my guess is it would happen. I was once under 35 with a good job (no house at the time, but...), that's how it all happened.

Best Wishes,

Dave

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Love,

Dave