Well...we seperated, her choice sucks!

I am finally settled in my new home...without her...and I only get my kids every other week. I think I hate her (I never use that word) for making this choice. I tried to ask her what I could do but with her it was that she wasnt happy with me and she hasnt been since we started having money problems. I had always felt that money was more important to her than anything else and I guess now I can see that I was right. I feel bad for my kids, she has been a horrible mom and I have been both dad and mom for them for over 2 years now. she took the scale(as well as almost everything else in the house) with her so I dont know how much I have lost to this point. I know I wasnt eating for 2 weeks due to the packing, moving and depression from her decision, but I am feeling better and eating more now.  I havent been on the board due to this and thought I would try to let some of my feelings about this out to you guys if you will listen. I am trying really hard to pick up the pieces and make the best of it for my kids. Ok, thats enough for now....I am starting to feel down. I need to get MAD and it should make me feel better.

Hi Ben, I feel for you man.  I have been there.  I divorced from my first marriage about 6 years ago. Her decision.  I got served papers while she was out with our daughter.  I was blind sided. Worked out for the best in the end though.  The hardest part for me was the separation from my daughter.  Like you I was both mom and dad to her.  Her mother is/was a crappy mother.  It took a long time but the hurt got less as it became routine to take her back to my ex's house, the house I bought and paid for.  Bitter.....F%$@ yeah I am.  LOL.  I'm here if you need to talk. feel free to email me. take care. Paul

Ben, I can totally relate to your problem. I was down at my mom's house for 4 weeks, helping her to recover from a knee surgery (she is 83). When I returned my wife served me with divorce papers.  We have been married for 32 years. Luckily my 3 sons are all grown 9the youngest is 20 and the oldest is 30). That makes it a little easier. I offered to go to consueling with her and she refused. She is getting the house (i had 1 year left on the mortgage) and I get to keep my pension(I'm retired from Verizon) and I'm on full disability. Just when I thought I was improving my life and health (I had the lapband in Dec and I'm down 80 lbs.) and she hits me with this. Now I will be relocating too. Ain't life a *****!,  Fu#%in Woman! I hope everything goes ok for you and feel free to vent anytime, I know I should vent more. Dan

 

 

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but things do get better...even though it might suck big time now.  The best thing you can do is to make sure your kids know that you love them and are there for them.....and not to show any "hatred" to the ex while your in their presence.  TO them, even a bad mom, is their mom.....and their only mom, so you don't want to put them in the middle. I hope you feel better...aand make sure you eat and take your suppliments. Scott

Ben, So sorry for your pain there. I have no first hand info, But all my sympathy. I had a grad student who went through a bitter divorce recently And he gets to see his two little boys about the same amount of time. Long after his Ex has been replaced and that pain has faded with time A couple of little guys will still call him Dad. Know that the hurt and grief will get a little better with time. And keep as involved with your kids lives as allowed. Suks right now. I have nothing to offer except- here to listen when you need to vent. Take care of you! Best Wishes- Dx