Comebacks to stupid comments

The amount of "experts" out there on this surgery who have never had it is staggering.  I'm sure many of you have been lectured by said "experts" over your journeys too. I've developed canned answers over the last year: 1) "Everyone who gets this surgery dies in 10 years." Really???  I'll have to find my friend Tim who had this surgery 15 years ago and drive a stake through his heart then, because he is obviously undead. 2) "It's just a tool, not a magic bullet!"  Yeah, thanks.  I think I figured that out one year and 190 pounds ago.  3) "So and so had it and gained all the weight back."  Wow, they must have really tried hard to do that.  Fortunately, I don't have the underlying psychological issues that goes along with the small percentage of people that have that issue. 4) "Don't you miss eating like a normal person?" An extremely small price to pay being able to look and feel like a normal person.  And with few exceptions, I DO eat like a normal person, only smaller amounts. 5) "Everyone I know who had this surgery regrets it and / or is sick from it." Then you need to get out more, because that is an extremely small minority of people who get this surgery. 6) "You took the easy way out." No, staying fat and dying young would have been taking the easy way out.  And there is nothing wrong with taking the past of least resistance.  That's like telling a woman who had difficulties giving birth that she took the easy way out having a C-section.  Or like telling a cancer patient that they took the easy way out by getting chemo. 7) "If you would have just quit eating, you wouldn't have gotten so fat and needed this surgery." And if you would just quit talking, less people would think you are an ignorant a$$hole.  The best thing was that this was told to me by a smoker who had tried to quit and failed at least five times. Ah, sweet irony. I've learned that the worst thing about ignorance is its insistence. What are some of the responses you give when set upon by stupid comments about your surgery?

Hey Jim, Excellent list--particularly 7! Here's a candidate for adding to it: 8) "What if something goes wrong later?" And what if it doesn't? Besides even if something does go wrong later, we'll never know if something worse might have gone wrong without surgery. And what if you had a brain?

My neighbors friend from work was yammering about how fat people are lazy, an on and on... My neighbor told her I had WLS, and she blinked her eyes and said "yeah, but I bet you miss eating like a normal person" I looked right at her and quipped "Yes, shoving the food up my ass gets very boring, I sure miss being able to eat like a normal person" Everyone around just burst out laughing, and she had the deer in the headlight look. It was priceless!

TOO FUNNY!!! That reminds me of a joke: A new nurse is being shown around the ward she will be responsible for.  The head nurse tells her about one patient  "This is Mr. Johnson.  He can only be fed rectally." Later that night, Johnson rings for the nurse.  She says "Do you need something?" "Yes, some hot chocolate, please," he replies. The nurse goes and gets a funnel, plunks it into his butt, and pours the hot chocolate in. Mr. Johnson says "Unhgh!!!" The nurse says "What's wrong?  Too hot?" "No, too sweet!"

Hey Jim.... I got a snotty one.....one chick was yipping away at how bad the surgery was, and I said...."I know it was dangerous...but I just couldn;t live with obesity one day longer....I don;t know how you do it>>>>> Russ

GOOD ONE!!!

Woo-hooo! That was good!

WHEE...

ummmm...come backs huh?  Well, I can't think of the good ones quickly like Russ, I just get rude.  I'd say something like, 'eat me' then lose my job, or 'eat ****' then lose my job.  One guy has already told me, 'you, boy, follow me around on the farm all day and you'll take some of that fat off!' (suggesting i'm lazy) and I responded, 'then I'd be ugly like you and stink like ****!'  I didn't lose my job  surprisingly.  My supervisor told me to be nice and not say what I think.  Geez...now I just shake my head and walk away sadly from them, ignorance you know.  I'm looking for a way  to come back and really nail them to the wall without me every really saying anything....any ideas? All this catheter talk is getting me really nervous!

I guess in a way, it's "us" who have taken a very decisive step to combat obesity. Against "them" - people who are obese or overweight (most adults our age) and don't want to take the same step as us. It must be really confusing for them.