Hi .... I'm not a guy ....

li3Ruch
on 7/9/07 9:59 am

Sorry to come crash your board ... but my husband is thinking about having the surgery. He is a little apprehensive. A lot apprehensive about how much work he may need to miss and his job is physical about half the time but they will probably work with him and let him do work at the desk for a few weeks if needed. As a guy is there anything special that you would tell him? I feel like I'm snooping over here so I'm not going to go read through all your posts I just wondered if you would have any advice for him specific to a man. I've had the surgery and had a very good experience so far. And you can ignore this question if I am being too snoopy but if you have any words about how it affected your sex life (or not)? Thanks bunches for any help!!

Beth
~ 245/160/135 (HW/CW/DW) ~

(Highest Weight, Current Weight, Dream Weight)

I am a healthy BMI now and so I am happy. I haven't decided yet where my comfort point is for maintaining. I'm trying to lose more, but I may find out that causes me to have more restrictive daily diet and excercise habits than what I am comfortable with long-term. It's all about choices!!!

TomL
on 7/9/07 10:34 am - Bradford, MA

RNY on 01/04/07

My experience has been great. Besides my recent internal hernia I have dropped 135 pounds in 6 months. If he can work the desk for 6-8 weeks then he'll do fine. I went back in 2 weeks but I could go light duty also. As for the sex life, tell him these 3 very important words..... IT GETS BIGGER!!!!!!

7/15/07 - 225 pounds

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

li3Ruch
on 7/9/07 10:48 am

RNY on 11/30/06

Thanks for being willing to answer me!! I will tell him!! :)

Beth
~ 245/160/135 (HW/CW/DW) ~

(Highest Weight, Current Weight, Dream Weight)

I am a healthy BMI now and so I am happy. I haven't decided yet where my comfort point is for maintaining. I'm trying to lose more, but I may find out that causes me to have more restrictive daily diet and excercise habits than what I am comfortable with long-term. It's all about choices!!!

(deactivated member)
on 7/9/07 10:49 am - MO

(deactivated member) has deleted this message.

panhead58fl
on 7/9/07 11:09 am - Barboursville, WV

RNY on 12/14/06

Please tell your husband about the "Mens Forum" and suggest he come here to check it out. I am sure everyone here will be glad to try to answer any question he may have, first hand. That way he can ask other men about men's issues and WLS. Not trying to be rude but the last thing I wanted was my wife telling me the answer to my questions about mens issues. Also I learned alot by just lurking here, please invite him come and lurk. pan head

Dx E
on 7/9/07 11:11 am - Northern, MS

RNY on 07/03/03

Beth, Have "hubby" drop by and read a bit here? The guys are pretty good about answering straight and honest about ANY Topic… Some here so Ya’ll won’t have to ‘comb through’ the whole of the Board?—These seem to address some of what you’re asking about…. Some general changes (including Male only info) http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/board_id,5479/cat_id,5 079/topic_id,757103/a,messageboard/action,replies/#5689935 Sex stamina- http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/a,messageboard/action, replies/board_id,5479/cat_id,5079/topic_id,757824/ Some general Health Comparisons for Men & Women…- http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/a,messageboard/action, replies/board_id,5479/cat_id,5079/topic_id,758079/ even Man "Boobs" (moobs) ( I said NO TOPIC is off limits…) http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/a,messageboard/action, replies/board_id,5479/cat_id,5079/topic_id,758250/ Hope all works out for You! Best Wishes- Dx

Capricious; Impulsive, Semi-Predictable

cabin111
on 7/9/07 1:08 pm

RNY on 10/09/06

Sex is alot better. I am a security guard. Have to walk 3-4 miles a day + maybe 10 flights of stairs. So I have a bit of a physical job. I couldn't handle it for the first few months. I could work a 4 hour day, but trying to work 8 hours+ a day, day in and day out while losing 1-2 pounds a day really took it out of me. So I would say it probably be a problem the first 1-3 months for endurance. For awhile I tried to grab for energy, but it just wasn't there. I would try and force my body to get out there and get the job done (attack the assignment like guys are good at... "get 'er done") but my body wasn't responding. I felt almost like a cancer patient going through chemo. That is how drained I felt for the first 3 months. But slowly the energy came back. My thought...Brian

li3Ruch
on 7/9/07 10:23 pm

RNY on 11/30/06

Thanks all for the info. I know hubby would learn a lot more on here himself but he simply won't do it himself. Maybe when he gets closer he will change his mind. Thanks again!!!

Beth
~ 245/160/135 (HW/CW/DW) ~

(Highest Weight, Current Weight, Dream Weight)

I am a healthy BMI now and so I am happy. I haven't decided yet where my comfort point is for maintaining. I'm trying to lose more, but I may find out that causes me to have more restrictive daily diet and excercise habits than what I am comfortable with long-term. It's all about choices!!!

HePaid4That
on 7/9/07 10:34 pm, edited 7/9/07 10:35 pm

Hi Beth, The best thing to do is simply send him the link to the board, let him know it is a locker room and he can ask any question he wants anonymously and get straight answers....Then, just lay off of him and let it stew for awhile. My wife nagged me about for a long time...but it had to be my decision. You will need to give him space to make that decision himself. Make sure he knows you love him regardless of what he does....I mean, continually remind him in your actions, not words. Then, have him check out my post from yesterday. http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/men/a,messageboard/action, replies/board_id,5479/cat_id,5079/topic_id,3341436/ You can't really lead a husband to water like a horse...you have to tell him where there is water and let him find it himself. Hope this helps, Greg

Tim A.
on 7/9/07 11:43 pm

Beth, If he is not interested in at least doing the research for himself then I would think he is really not interested in having WLS. No amount of encouragement will get him there. He has to make up his mind on his own to follow this path. It was the same way for me when I smoked. I started when I was 14 and I liked it. I knew it was bad but I did not care until I hit my mid thirties and my 2 year old son started running around the house with my smokes in his mouth saying he wanted to be like his dad. My wife nagged me for years to quit but I never tried very hard till I want to then I dropped smoking cold turkey and have never looked back in 16 years. If your husband want to improve his health we will help him but it is a committment he has to freely make. You have been through the process, you made up your own mind and your working the program. He will come around if he wants. Good Luck.....

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