Monday Humor.
The first one is a little rough.
The teacher asked, "Class use the word contagious in a sentence."
Molly put her hand up and said, My little sister has chickenpox and they are contagious.
The teacher said, "Very good Molly."
Sally raised her hand and said, "My little brother has the mumps and they are contagious".
The teacher said, "Very good Sally."
Little Johnny was jumping around in his seat, hand raise in the air, waving back and forth.
The teacher had been stung with Johnny's remarks before and was very reluctant to let him speak.
Unfortunately he was the only other child in the class with his hand up. So the teacher thought she better give him a chance.
"OK Johnny, give me a sentence with the word contagious in it"
Johnny was all excited that he was given a chance.
He said, "Teacher my dad was sitting in the lawn chair with his friend drinking beer. My mom was cutting the lawn.
Dad said to his friend "It's going to take that contagious to cut the lawn.
Johnny was expelled the next day A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then
she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick," and I
>could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it."
"CASE DISMISSED!!" Have a great Monday guy's.
Molly put her hand up and said, My little sister has chickenpox and they are contagious.
The teacher said, "Very good Molly."
Sally raised her hand and said, "My little brother has the mumps and they are contagious".
The teacher said, "Very good Sally."
Little Johnny was jumping around in his seat, hand raise in the air, waving back and forth.
The teacher had been stung with Johnny's remarks before and was very reluctant to let him speak.
Unfortunately he was the only other child in the class with his hand up. So the teacher thought she better give him a chance.
"OK Johnny, give me a sentence with the word contagious in it"
Johnny was all excited that he was given a chance.
He said, "Teacher my dad was sitting in the lawn chair with his friend drinking beer. My mom was cutting the lawn.
Dad said to his friend "It's going to take that contagious to cut the lawn.
Johnny was expelled the next day A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then
she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick," and I
>could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it."
"CASE DISMISSED!!" Have a great Monday guy's.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, yelling "..........Holy Shit.......... what a ride".
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