Things a southerner would never say

Rerun, but pretty good:

 Things you will never hear a southerner say.

 

 

> >             30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen. > >              29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. > >              28. Duct tape won't fix that. > >              27. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. > >              26. We don't keep firearms in this house. > >              25. You can't feed that to the dog. > >              24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. > >              23. Wrestling is fake. > >              22. We're vegetarians. > >              21. Do you think my gut is too big? > >              20. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. > >              19. Honey, we don't need another dog. > >              18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War? > >              17. Give me the SMALL bag of pork rinds. > >              16. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. > >              15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. > >              14. Trim the fat off that steak. > >              13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. > >              12. The tires on that truck are too big. > >              11. I've got it all on the C: DRIVE. > >              10. Unsweetened tea tastes better. > >              9. My fiancé, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. > >              8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. > >              7. Checkmate. > >              6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. > >              5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. > >              4. I don't have a favorite college team. > >              3. You Guys. > >              2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae. > >              AND THE NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A >SOUTHERNER SAY: > >              1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!

I'd cop an attitude about this, but I noticed we live in the same state...

Yea but Bobby C. is one of those big city boys down in Charlotte and your up in NE corner by the dismal swamp Bob.  I have said some of these things but I was born in Charlotte and now live in Raleigh so I am not quite the good olde boy of my youth. I have also lived in Jacksonville, Flordia, San Diego, CA, Newport, RI., Bath, Maine, and VA Beach, VA since 1977. And traveled the world for 20 years so I have changed a little along the way. I'm still a good olde boy at heart since they are some of the best folks I know.

Raleigh??  You must be one of those "articulate" Tarheels. Bobby

Damn, Tim, I almost didn't recognize you!   Dennis

31. The yankees won the war. 32. I will take the family to New York City to see a theatrical play. 33. Bobby Lee was just a so-so General. 34. I have all the guns I will ever need. 35. The south will never rise again. 

All a-Ya’ll are Yankees! Anything North of Memphis isn’t Really the South. And correction- 32?- actually overheard quote would read- "I’ll take mom-and-‘em to NYC to see My latest production… Probably another Tennessee Williams remount… Those yankees can’t get enough of our Southern writers…" Best Wishes- Dx

DX Yep you be right on them words. This Texas/Okie/Loueesiana boy has been toooo long on the Left Coast were the "South" is considtered Los Angeleese.

Remember Nc boy here... 36....Throw that bacon grease out...it's not good for anything russ

Now Russ that's just crazy talk. How are ya supposed to make gravy, cook greens or green beans with no bacon grease? Although I haven't used it in over a year or longer I bet I have some in a jar in the fridge.  pan head