Reclusiveness and Morbid Obesity

Just wondering if anyone else seems to have picked up this habit as a morbidly obese person?

What happens to me, is I have spurts of contacts, sometimes detailed and lengthy, then I suddenly feel as if it's hard to even type a mail, to post on a board or call anyone on the phone. 

Here's how I recently explained it to a friend: 

 "It's probably a defense mechanism I picked up when I was MO as a kid and has become a habit I can’t always shake. When I’m doing things alone, I guess I’m safe and in control. Hey and you can make trips to the weight room and track and find an endless number of people who don’t want to go along. I’m okay with it, but I think I must come off as rude sometimes, when I’m just not able to make myself get on the keyboard and type."

Anyone experience this? Perhaps some of the lurkers out there even? Would love to hear about it. Not necessary intermittent reclusiveness like mine, woudl love to hear about any type.

Don't know, maybe it's just a case of me trying to do to much when my energy peaks, which then leaves me exhausted.

Best Wishes,

Dave

 

Dave I would have to say yes. I guess depending upon your situation and personality as to how bad it affects you. I had a good core group of friends, we were our own little fatguy support group. So we would feed off of each other to get through issues that popped up.

I have my reclusive moments.  I guess that's when I feel like being anti-social.  I don't know if for me it's ever been about being overweight.  Rather, I've always looked at it as being satisfied in being somewhat independent.  I think a large part of it is that I tend to be pretty goal oriented, and those goals tend to engulf my entire life.  This can be good and bad.  Sometimes when I'm feeling reclusive I push through it and socialize only to find that I enjoy the socialization. --Dave

Hey Dave.... Maybe a defense device, may you are focused, and comfortable in your own company Some people cannot stand to be alone, because they hate themselves...Seems to my like you are loving yourself...and appreciating your new health... If working out exhausts you, but it not effecting the home life or Job...but you were not able to go get a drink with someone...seems fine to me...you are not hurting anyone...and you are helping yourself.. Now I did just think of something....back when I was seeing a theripist...( ah those were the days...I mean years) he said that when we break a bad habit, (being unhealthy) we over compensate, to get as far away from the bad habit as possible.(be over zelot in the gym)..like a pendulum swing....all the way fromt he right to the left....and that only time will allow us to gently rest in the middle..... this may have nothing to so with what you are going through... But I will admit, some times when we are watching tv, I think...geez this is a waste of time, I had rather be at the gym Russ ps...did you get the Translator Clip I sent you???? funny as hell

Russ: Some people may have noticed this and some not, but I love analogies and metaphors. The analogy you offered about our changing habits being like a pendulum swinging is a great one. I like to put things in analogies because it can help me understand things in a simpler way. I agree with what you and Dave have to say about the peaks and valleys in enthusiasm, so maybe I or all of us who think this effects them need to focus and make a conscious effort at getting that pendulum to settle down in the middle a bit more, because for me when I do something to the extreme I tend to try to take a perfectionist approach to it and eventually that pressure I put on myself always leads to a crash and burn...

Dunno, I didn’t have a "reclusive-ness" trait as a MO person. I work alone a lot, so I am alone a good bit. But when the option is available? I’m a herd animal! Actually, not completely true… I’m a "Pack" animal… If I can have just time with the family? Or a few friends? That’s the Best. I "Do Crowds" well, but prefer smaller groups with mutual histories. No angst really either way. I know folks who won’t can’t eat alone in a restaurant… Or go to the movie alone. No problem here. Same on the other end of the balance… Can spend 24/7 non-stop with the same folks and not get antsy about it. Interesting area…for thought… Best wishes- Dx

Wow Dave you have touched a nerve with me on this topic. I'm hoping to have WLS in early 2008. It seems the bigger I become, the more reclusive I get and the more I eat. Its a vicious cycle. I have the feeling when I am out in public that everyone is staring at the fat guy. It makes me feel like a freak. Friends are mainly online where no one can see me. Compared to others I guess I'm not that bad off. I'm 5'8" and weigh 320 and wear a 3x shirt, but when I see myself in the mirror I hate what I see and am becoming more withdrawn. Dave thanks for all your posts, I can't wait to be on the loosing side. --==Rich==--