Two 4 Tuesday Humor.
THE NATIONAL POETRY CONTEST HAD COME DOWN TO TWO, A YALE GRADUATE AND A REDNECK FROM ALABAMA. THEY WERE GIVEN A WORD, THEN ALLOWED TWO MINUTES TO STUDY THE WORD AND COME UP WITH A POEM THAT CONTAINED THE WORD. THE WORD THEY WERE GIVEN WAS.. TIMBUKTU.
FIRST TO RECITE HIS POEM WAS THE YALE GRADUATE. HE STEPPED TO THE MICROPHONE AND SAID,
"SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND, TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN. MEN ON CAMELS, TWO BY TWO, DESTINATION TIMBUKTU."
THE CROWD WENT CRAZY! NO WAY COULD THE REDNECK TOP THAT, THEY THOUGHT AS THE REDNECK CALMLY MADE HIS WAY TO THE MICROPHONE AND RECITED,
"ME AND TIM, A' HUNTIN' WE WENT. MET THREE *****S IN A POP-UP TENT. THEY WAS THREE, AND WE WAS TWO. SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU."
THE REDNECK WON HANDS DOWN.
1. COWS
2. THE CONSTITUTION
3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS COWS: Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington ? And they tracked her calves to their stalls, but they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
THE CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq . Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really Smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse........You cannot post "Thou Shall Not Steal," "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians -- it creates a hostile work environment.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, yelling "..........Holy Shit.......... what a ride".
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