Don't Make this mistake...put foot in mouth last night!

Have you ever been in a situation where someone makes the mistake of asking a woman when her baby is due, only to hear her respond in a humiliated or totally pissed-off voice..."I'm not pregnant!"      WOW!! Thank gawd I've never personally made this mistake because we know "hell hath no fury..."!   But, unbeknownst to me, I committed a verbal faux pas at support group last night.  After the meeting was over I participated in the typical "small talk" with some other attendees.  I asked a gentleman how far out he was (thinking he was post-op).  I GOT THE LOOK OF DEATH!!!    He pointed out to me in no uncertain terms that he had not had surgery!   HOLY CRAP!  I thought the guy was going to take my head off.  His sister was right there too and she was a post-op and she quickly jumped in and bailed me out.   Sheeesh!  Right about that same time Big Al (Alan Hartman) walked up too and struck up conversation so the situation was diffused. It was a WLS support group.  The person who spoke did take a poll and asked who all pre-op, post-op, or looking into surgery and the fellow did not raise his hand.  And he was a good sized fellow - I'd say 425+.    I made the mistake of assuming....UGH!!! And I rarely go to support group...hummmm, I wonder why?    Don't make the same mistake I did!  If you go to support group...sit in the corner, keep mouth shut and make a quick retreat after the meeting is over!  In fact coming in late and leaving early might be the best strategy to avoid potential embarrassment.  Cards Fan "STEP OFF THE SIDELINES AND GET IN THE GAME!"

Well, I say it was divine intervention. I mean, look at it this way. If the dude is two-duce-twenty-five or so then he really OUGHT to look into the surgury. If he was offended by you thinking that he may be the type of person (overweight) to qualify for surgury, then maybe he isn't in touch with his weight-reality.

Maybe in some odd way you'll help him. Honest mistakes come from honesty.

...but, I'm glad it was you and not me
--Jake

Hey CF,...you were trying to be friendly and goofed a bit.  As Jake says,..sounds like he has the problem.  I wouldn't sweat it and cetainly not let it discourage you from going to support group.  Besides what you might get from support, what you have to offer those trying to decide about WLS and those recently having had it would be a tremedous loss.  We all make mistakes.  Too bad he got all worked up.  I'll bet he comes back. Your being embarassed only means you care enough about other feelings that it bothers you it happened.  Thats a desireable trait in my book. 

I don't think you made any mistakes...it was a support group, and that is a normal question to ask in a support group.  Maybe it will motivate the guy to look into surgery.  Scott

Ah CF, i'm not sure i understand. what was the screw up? i don't get it. why would he be upset by that question? i don't' get it is all i can say. if he did have the surgery it's an honest question. and if he didn't why be offended? doesn't compute in my small mind. it's not like you said, hey, jumbo, are you losing anything or what? i don't even think it qualifies as an insult if he did have the surgery and wasn't losing any weight. jeez, it's a support group and the assumption is everyone there is having or has had the surgery. god, if he gave me the look of death i would just walk away, touchy *******

you are a very eloquent and supportive and knoweldgable voice on this board. your group could benefit greatly from your presence there. don't let this overly sensitive girl keep you from helping others. my two cents........carbonblob

No need to sugar coat it for him CB, tell him straight out how you feel. You crack me up!

Hey CF,  I have caught myself a half dozen times wanting to ask a woman when she was due and work up a conversation only to catch myself half way and thinking, 'man am I nuts, what if....' But I did get off a few jokes at the informational seminar for bariatric surgery in Jeff City.  They had the meeting on the third floor of this hotel and all these fat people were milling around up there (including me) and I told this one guy, 'I hope they reinforced this floor,' then I gave a little giggle, he gave me the look of death and I immediately turn around and faced this fat woman (smaller than me) and I said something else cutesy, again look of death.  My wife finally had to whip me into shape by saying, 'these people are thinking they are next to death and you're cutting jokes.'  Okayyy, geezo. LOL, Bob.  Oh was that you last night, sorry.  LOL Just kidding.