Depression.. No **** !

Fellow locker room guys: I am comming up for air after a nasty bout of "the black dog at the door" depression. It hurts so much, it feels so lonley, it feels so dark, I do not reachout when I need support the most, I isolate, over work, under work, sleep, over caffine, abuse  sleeping medication , shut down, try the sugar cure, the under eating cure, the I can do this alone cure.. none of that works !! I am under the care of a great Dr., who I see every Month, I take the medication he prescribes. What I have not done is begin an excerise program, I golf once a week and love it, but need to get the endorphins flowing once again. It is so hard for me to admit these things, but alas... it is what it is.. Thanks for being here Kev-

Hi Kevin, It's great to see you back. You're lucky to have a great doctor to support you on this. You're right about the exercise. Maybe only 20 minutes a day to begin with, then if you like it, 30 or more. Maybe something you can do at home - a set of barbells, a treadmill? That's what keeps me going - having that stuff in the basement.

Good Luck,

Dave

Kevin, Some of the things you mention above are traps I've fallen into myself and in talking with others in the Locker Room about it, you can be rest assured that you are not alone - depression of some sort is more common than you might think.  Your crutch - what you've used to self-medicate and cope in the past has been taken away from you and it's difficult to find something as effective as food to provide that needed escape from the day-to-day obstacles thrown in front of you.  Stick with that Dr. and stay on that medication.   Good idea with the exercise...exercise is not a cure all but it certainly knocks the edge off of the old depression...and I speak from experience. The weights are good and for depression recent studies are touting the benefits of a brisk walk of 30-45 minutes daily saying it can be as effective as a dose of anti-depressant.  The fresh air, the increased heart rate and the sense of accomplishment from a good walking regimen can do wonders!  Give it a shot! Putting your difficulties out in the open takes alot of guts and you should be commended for that.  It shows that your not going to make any excuses and your going to take action - and if you don't the fellas here will help hold you accountable (if you let them).  A great way to hold yourself accountable is participating in the 50 Mile Challenge that Dan P is taking the lead on.  Give it a shot! Cards Fan "STEP OFF THE SIDELINES AND GET IN THE GAME!"

hey Kev,

the guys are right as usual. exercise will get those endorphines up and running again. more important is to let your doc know what's going on. maybe some of the meds or the combination of meds you are on can cause depression as a side effect. i know i have to be carefull of that with all the meds i take.

so maybe something simple like a workout video. beginners billy blanks teo bo or something like that. anything. i got my girlfriend a set of resistence bands. i have to tell you, they work and it's fun! short of taking happy pills exercise is the only thing i'm aware of that will release the endorphins. you know what you gotta do so keep us posted and keep coming here.........carbonblob

I understand your feeling that having your doctor prescribe antidepressants is good for you, but I'd caution you about that if you have the type of depression that seems to worsen as you age.  I've always had my prescriptions written by my psychiatrist but my brother had his done by his primary physician.  They were both effective at first, but as our conditions worsened, my brother saw the need of seeing a psychiatrist.  Remember that they are medical doctors with a specialty.  I'm bi-polar and my brother has regular depression and seasonal affectational depression.  Another thing you may want to look into is "Talk Therapy."  That's what most people imagine happens when someone sees a shrink.  However, these days a psychologist or, more likely, an msw conducts the talk therapy and the psychiatrist prescribes the meds.  Both my primary physician and my psychiatrist have me do periodic blood work.  However, since I take Depakote for the manic-depression, the psychiatrist has me get a blood test for my Depakotee level and liver function every other month since the Depakaote can affect the liver.  Plus, it has to be at a high enough level to be effective.  They took me off lithium years ago because it increases the desire to eat which is something I don't need. At least you reached out this time.  Don't be too cautious when you feel bad.  If things get really bad, you can probably call a local Hot Line that's manned 24 hours per day.  That may be a rare call, but it's good to remember that it's there.  I remember times when I'd suddenly feel very depressed in the middle of the day and I'd call my wife at her job.  Just hearing her voice gave me a lift.  I'm lucky that she's well adjusted and she'd just tell me to call my shrink.  I didn't get her down.  So, ask for help whenever you need it.  Remember that there are many people who understand your problem and want to help you.

Thanks for sharing, man. We're here for you whatever you need.

I second the exercise motion. It will make you feel much better. And, don't ever forget the social-medication a community of like-minded men can give. Don't hesitate to ask us for a "dose or two. We're like the best pharmacy in the world.

Thanks as always guys: I am seeing a psychiatrist , I wrote DR., because I could not spell; psychiatrist ; so I just pasted it (lol).. I have a treadmill, resistence bands, and an exercise ball. I just got out a legal pad and will record my workouts, I watch a ton of TV; and the treadmill is a great place to start. Thanks so much for reminding me I am not alone; this disease; mental illness.. is a  "m..... fer" What I have not shared on the board is the following 2 life issues: 1. My bride of 27 years, is in her 3rd year of the disease; sclaraderma ( autoimune); her body thinks she is bleeding so it produces excess collegan; her hands, ankles, kness and face are hard as a rock; knock on your desk and that is how tight her skin and joints are. She is in chronic pain 24/7 365. She is seeing a pain specialist; and is taking ; methadone, percocet and morphine patches. Needles to say; I feel quite powerless to "fix" her. I also feel quite " cheated" by this life event; we were suposed to enter our 50's hand in hand laughing, instead.. ughhh ! Needless to say; we are unable to regain our former healthy sex life, and I mourn this loss heavily... she is the best... my partner forever, but it is so difficult.. she is zonked-out on her meds ( unlike me she takes them as perscribed); I see her asleep in our familyroom chair at 6:00pm every night and just want to cry.. She can drive, and has massage 3 times a week, walks 5 days a week, a real studett.. Her specialist is at Johns Hopkins hospital in Baltimore, Md. We travel from california 4 times a year to see him, and follow his advice.. with autoimune disease.. it is such a crapshoot.. what works for one patient does not work for her, and vise versa... 2. Financial crisis: We are self employed in the real estate and loan business and our income is off by 70%... From gross sales of $1,400,000 to $420,000.. WE bought our "dream home" last year  and cannot affford at today's income... we have sold our Lake Tahoe cabin which will close next week, reducing monthy expenses and add reserves to our dwindling savings  Our former home, was sold on a lease option which blew-up and we still are making it's payment; it is remodeled and back on the market. I have 3 other pieces of real estate which, will sell in the next 6 months to help us as well. I have added new revenue sources to my business model and it is pennies today for bucks down the road. It makes me feel like such a failure that I did not better prepare for this...somedays I can see working through it... other days it seems to big to tackle... So there you have it.. I would appreciate your prayers and "power thoughts" sent our way... Thanks guy's Kev-

Kevin With all that is going on with you, you still take time to help out others. That says a lot about you pal. You have helped me out and just knowing that good men like you exist in this world is an inspiration. It feels lame saying something like "It'll all work out." But I believe that with someone of your heart and spirit it really will. You are in our prayers and the power thoughts are coming your way. Man Hugs brother.

Kev, You got some serious stuff going there.  I understand the overwhelmed feeling. But you sure sound like you are addressing everything head-on which is the most positive thing to do to overcome them.  You wife definitely needs you even if there isn't much you can do for her medically except assist her and get her proper care, just being there and sharing your feeling for here must mean the world to her. You have gotten this far and have done well.  While you got a lot going on, this sounds like some of the darkeness before the dawn scenario.  Tie a knot in the end of your rope and hold on.  Christ said in John 15, in this world we shall have tribulation, but to be of good cheer for He has overcome the world.  We must endure some suffering to enjoy the good.  So,...this too shall pass. Hang in there dude.  Thanks for being so up-front.  I've recent been through some lows too and a walk helps.  A banana helps (when my potassium dips, I get depressed).  I also got check for hupothyroism but don't have any results yet.  Its tough to stay upbeat sometimes, bu when yu recognize it for waht it is, as you are doing, it helps in the coping. You are a good man and you doing great things.  Just keep chugging forward. The journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.

Kev As a fellow of the "Black Dog" brotherhood, I feel for you. Exercise often works for me, too, if I can get myself to the treadmill. Setting small achievable goals, at first, is suggested by many. Hang in there, and continue to fight the good fight. JP