Friday Humor.

underthegun
on 5/3/07 5:43 pm - Starke, FL
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which causes her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the Doctor about her baby.  The Doctor replies: "Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, Oh, no! Not Bubba, he's an idiot! Expecting the worst, she asks the Doctor: "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the Doctor answers. The new mother thinks, Wow! That's a beautiful name, I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise. Then she asks the Doctor: "What's the boy's name?" The Doctor replies: "Denephew."
underthegun
on 5/3/07 5:50 pm - Starke, FL
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?" The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big a$$ and long legs who agrees with everything I say."
wjoegreen
on 5/3/07 11:53 pm - Colonial Heights, VA
Killer Dan. Thanks for a great start to a stuffed weekend. Two good ones!!!
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