Joe Greens Thursday Humor!

Gotta Love a Drunk.... A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.  The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband.  "It is 3 o'clock in the morning.”  He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?”  asked his wife.  "Just some drunk guy asking for a push!" "Did you help him?”  she asks.  "No.  I did not.  It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!" His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?  You should be ashamed of yourself!"  The man gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain.  He calls out into the dark, "Hello.  Are you still there?"  "Yes," comes back the answer.  "Do you still need a push?”  calls out the husband.  "Yes!  Please!”  comes the reply from the darkness.  "Where are you?”  asks the husband.  "Over here on the swing!”  replies the drunk .  

I am not by no means trying to offend any Lesbians that may be tuned in after all I am a lesbian myself I love women. LESBONICS 1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet. 2. What do you call an Eskimo lesbian? .... A Klondyke. 3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? .... Militia Etheridge. 4. Why can't lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face. 5. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? .... Fur Traders. 6. What is a lesbian dinosaur called? .... A Lickalotapuss. 7. What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? .... Well Hung. 8. Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? ... She was found face down in Ricki Lake . 9. How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? ..... Even the pool table doesn't have balls. 10. What do you call lesbian twins? .... Lick-a-likes. 11. What's the definition of confusion? ... Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market. 12. What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian? One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker. 13. What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers? 100 people that don't do d*ck.

I thoroughly enjoyed both of these. I've got to admit that the lesbian one was the best of the two though.  GOOD STUFF!!!!

On Contrair, I thoroughly enjoyed the drunk needing a push.  The lesbian stuff was funny but nothing I'd repeat. Thanks for the energy Dan.  Whatever Dan P in KoKoMo is paying you,..it isn't enough.