Tuesday Humor.
A motorcycle officer stops a man for running a red light.
The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the patrol
officer and demands to know why he is being harassed.
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation.
The Motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's
ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.
The officer, being a professional, takes it all in stride, figuring
"Battleship mouth and Rowboat Ass". The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets
done with writing the citation he puts an *AH* in the lower right corner
of the narrative portion of the citation.
He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented
his copy points to the *AH* and demands to know what it stands for.
The officer then removes his mirror sunglasses , gets in the middle of
the guys face and says,
"That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an Asshole!" Three months later they're in court.
The "Violator" has such a bad record he is about to lose his license
and has hired an attorney to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;
Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued
my client? Officer responds,
"Yes sir, this is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same
number at the top.
Attorney : "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this
citation you don't normally make"? Officer : "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an
*AH*, underlined". Attorney : "What does the *AH* stand for, officer"? Officer : "Aggressive and Hostile Sir" Attorney: "Aggressive and hostile" Officer: "Yes Sir"? Attorney : "Officer,,,, Are you sure it doesn't stand for Asshole"? Officer : "Well Sir, You know your client better than I do"!!!!!!
SLEEPING BEAUTY, TOM THUMB AND QUASIMODO
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in
the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the
world."
So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have
their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy.
"It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am now officially the
smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says,
"Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?
