Monday Humor. Uh Oh

Nominated as the world's best short joke of the year:     A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.   "Mom," he asked, "are these my brains?"   "Not yet," she replied.

THE INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE     There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose     given name  was 'One stone'.     He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him One     stone.After years and years of torment, One stone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me One     stone again I will kill them!"     The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young woman named     Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, One stone."     He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and  all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.    The word got around that One stone meant what he promised he would do.   Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned  to the village after being away.Yellow Bird who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw One stone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, One stone." One stone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love. To her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story?????........................... OH, Come on...take a guess! Think about it... (You're going to love this!) And the moral is... You can't kill two birds with one stone!!

I just got this and just had to pass it on. A Horse, A Chicken and A Harley On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get Timco for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for Timco , but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only pickup. Running around, the chicken spied the Timco's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the Timco's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and Timco was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life. The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!) When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks  

That deserves a rimshot!

So you are developing a alternative latenight career as a pre-op Post-op stand-up comedian? I didn't think you could sustain this pace daily.  I obviously underestimated your enthusiam.