"Teensy" bit tired of all the Praise!

Hey all... At a big party at a neighbours here, I musta had like 30 people come up to me and give me praise and praise and more praise on being so successful at WLS -- and like after 5 or 6 of them, I tried to understand why that was making me feel a bit like a "hypocrite?" I mean really, I did nothing. Oh sure, I took the road to getting the surgery and put up with all kindsa obstacles -- but I really didn't DO anything myself. I lay down in the OR and 2 hours or so later, the work was done. I couldn't diet on my own. I couldn't lose weight when I knew that I needed to. I couldn't do anything excep****ch my waistline expand and expand....hence the praise made me feel uncomfortable. I ended up "hiding" behind my wife out in the garage, sitting down at a table to sorta "hide" my new waistline...sigh... I must say I am as HAPPY as anyone ever could be at the results - but after a couple of dozen or more folks congratuating me and me having to tell the same story over and over and over -- it did make me feel a bit like I was taking praise -- when it should'a been the Dr.  HE did the job - I was just along for the ride.... So...is this normal for some others here? Or just a canuck thingy? Anyone want to offer how they feel getting praise? Jim

I sometimes think along the same lines. But then I remember all the failed diets and that the surgery only rerouted your plumming. If you dont eat right, exercize, keep on top of tha****er and protein intake and take all the vitemins,  the surgery would have been for nothing. That is still no small thing and alot of work....so dont be so hard on yourself.....take that praise....give the doctor his share but be proud of your part in this, there was and is alot more than just you lying down in the OR.  Just something to think about...

You are a success. Everybody wants to be near you because you are living, breathing proof that people can change. People love a success story and that is you. Get used to telling your story.  Sometimes I feel like people want me to touch them and pass on whatever magic I've acquired. I shrug and tell them the same thing over and over again. Surgery date, forced to eat less as a result, protein, water, and exercise. No magic involved.  Yeah, your doc did the work, but you've been using your tool to its fullest. Rejoice. Eventually people will move on to a new thing and you'll be just one of the "normals".

Don't sell yourself short, ya dumb Canuck! You had the gumption to take control of your problem, and fix it. You paid your dues. Surgery is no walk in the park. Don't feel guilty because your choice of weight- loss was successful. You made a choice. It was the right choice. For crying out loud, man. Enjoy your success. Save the guilt for Dr. Phil. Life's short. Go live it to the fullest. If people want to slap you on the back, and give you an "attaboy", grin and bear it. It's a small price to pay for a new lease on life. Just my humble opinion. DD

Hi Jim, The guys are right, in my opinion. It's okay to accept people's good wishes and compliments. They are expressing positive feelings toward you. Also, you risked your life by having surgery. I know MO is a risk, but it is a more distant risk than surgery, which is immediate. You showed gumption and after surgery you've showed commitment to a new way of eating, etc. These are no small feats. If you're like me, you may be uncomfortable because as a fat guy you used to deflect certain kinds of attention. I'm finding that I have to learn how not to react like a self-conscious fat guy. My reactions are often conflicted. My wife, family, friends, anf Locker Room brothers help me understand that most people mean well and often aren't sure what to say to us or how to say it. And even if some folks are ignorant, snide or insincere, so what? We don't want to let them take this good thing away from us, even for a minute. So, as the guys say, pat yourself on the back. You're the captain of your WLS team. Kudos.

I only have one response to this. And i quote: "You gotta be ****tin' me." I offer this quote because that's what I said out loud when I read this. All I can guess is your recovery and post-op period has been better (easier) than mine. I'll give you the Cliff's Notes version of what the last 4 months has been for me. 12/27/06 - Surgery. Complete success 12/29/06 - discharged from Hospital. NO food intake in over 3 days. Head hunger is VERY                    difficult to deal with.   1/20/07 - Finally able to eat something that stays down and doesn't cause violent, explosive                     diarrhea.   1/14/07 - Post op staple removal / 1st weigh-in. Stapes in 17(!!!!!!) days, down 60lbs. due to                     basically ZERO nutrition intake.  2/16/07 - 2nd follow-up with surgeon. down 101 lbs. Still basically zero food intake. Constant                   cramping due to super-sized small intestine contracting and internal organes shifting                    due to the massive change in body shape. food consumption very complicated due to                   extreme tendency to vomit when any amount of food gets caught on the way down.                   Dealing with a mental block of eating due to the negative experience with removing                   waste from the body. Due to the advanced nature of the RNY surgery, my level of mal-                   absorption is very high and does extremely unpleasant things to my waste regardless                   of what I eat.  3/23/07 - 3rd follow-up with surgeon. Down 125lbs. food intolerance still very high. avg. daily intake                   approx. 500 calories. Avg. times a day eating: 1                   same problems as last month. 4/24/07 -  Down 161lbs. Food battle continues. Zero, almost negative support from work                    colleagues. None of them have anything close to a clue what it's like to go through life                   weighing 560lbs.  "Oh, I couldn't do that. I can't IMAGINE not being able to have ice cream when I want to..." " I can't have pizza? Oh, the hell with that. I'd NEVER have that surgery. You're insane." "We're getting some lunch from Burger King. Sorry you can't get anything. HahaHAHAhaha..." "I bet it sucks to smell the stuff we bring in all the time and you can't eat it. I'd never be able to do that surgery...." Easy?  Nothing to be proud of?  I went from the equivalent of a 3 pack-a-day marlboro red smoker to cold-turkey quit literally overnight. I was the equivalent of a crack addict that went through 72 hour rehab without a lick of help. You're tired of the compliments?  You really need to reflect on what you've accomplished. If it's ANYTHING like i've gone through, you've earned EVERY one of em. Rant over. Carry on smartly.

Jim, You did what a lot of people never do, namely you changed your life for the better.  People might know they need to change intellectually, but most will not set the wheels in motion like you did.  You put yourself at risk and had to change your behavior and then live with the results.  That concept is frightening to a lot of people. It is no walk in the park.  Give yourself the credit that you deserve. And Jim, Congratulations!

Hi Jim, you are just at that stage where people are seeing you for either the first time or as you continue to go down.  Once you get to the point of stopping the loss that goes away.  You are dealing with your 15 minutes of fame right now.  Sort of like a rock star.  I say enjoy it humbly, but enjoy it because it will go away once people get used to the new you.   Losing the weight is the easy part.  Keeping it off 5 years or more is the tougher part.  And the hope is that you have enough life change and momentum to carry you when you are no longer getting the praise.  So enjoy this now....someday you won't have it and wish you did. PS.  We all like to give compliments to people as well as receive.  Your success is an open invitation for people to give you an easy compliment.  My challenge to you is to turn that around and see if you can find something to compliment about them because it is so easy to be selfish when we receive this much praise. Hope this helps. Greg

Think of yourself of a WLS pioneer. Most of us don't know anyone else who has had WLS. some are curious for themselevs some for other family memebers. I am still pre-op and will gladly talk about it to anyone who wants to talk about. One day I was talking to a co-worker about it. He works for a professional soccer team and is in good shape adn of course has access to the best doctors on the Cali of not the US. I was curious as to why he was talking to ME about it. Turns out he had a son who is in his early 20s, close to 500Lbs and only getting bigger. He was worried about his son dying. We ended up at a seminar together and he is on his way. They just want info, you never know who lives you may be changing with your story. 

But Jim your so hot baby.....(in my best female asian voice) You make me so horney!! I know it can get old and after a year and 234lbs gone I get the same thing all the time from folks. For the most part they mean well and it will stop once you stabilize and move out a litte farther in the process. I have folks I have worked with for 10 years that tell me that they don't remember me being 460lbs anymore since they have gotten use to the 226lbs me. Enjoy it while it last Jim, soon you'll just be another cute skinny white guy......