My third Psychologist

Okay gentlemen, one more time, this is my third psychologist and fourth appointment.  I need your thoughts and prayers as I buck up and do this again. The first one said - 1 year should be enough pre-op. The second one said - I think you could handle the surgery and the diet but I also think you are a controller and depressed.  And if we can get to why you overeat - you'll be able to lose your weight the natural way.  Of course I'm a controller, Passive-Agressive are most ministers.  Depressed?  I don't think so.  The natural way - I am be dead by then. Let's see what the 3rd one has to say.  She's been highly recommended to me. PLZ PLZ PLZ - I've been stuck in this process since NOVEMBER!  If this one doesn't recommend me - I'm going to take it as an act of God.

well Bob, i guess my advice would be to go in with an attitude. i wouldn't talk much and just be a broken record. keep repeating you've tried all that and it didn't work. no matter what they ask or say you should try, say you've done it and it didn't work. i wouldn't make small talk or conversation. let them ask all the questions and then give short answers just like you were being cross examined. short terse answers. they will get the point soon enough that you mean business and you're sick of listening to anecdotes from them.

i guess if you don't appear to be open and you come off one tracked maybe that would help. the more you talk and open up, the more ammo they have to shrink your head so i wouldn't give them ammo. i would just express that you've tried all the diets, mental adjustments blah blah so just pass me along for the surgery, end of story. ok, my two cents. good luck.....carbonblob

Thanks CB, and I'm going to do just that, short and terse!  LOL

My advice would be to switch to a different WLS doc. Preferably one with a Psych as an associate of the practice. They know the values of the surgery and do what they need to to make sure you aren't psychotic and send you on the way.

Does this one know about the other shrinks? That would change my approach. I loathe psych people, so here is how I got my approval, take what you will from it. I filled out the questionaire, and they tried to ask the same thing several different ways, so that was slightly annoying. I had no depression and no major psychosis (Ha! shows what they know!). When I had my interview, I focused on all the things in my life that I stuck with  for years and years. In my case, that was painting fantasy miniatures. I had been doing it since I was 13. I also mentioned how supportive my family is and how I have a wonderful and loving home enviornment. I also mentioned my ability to set goals and achieve them. They asked me about addictions, and I pointed out that my food issue was more of an ignorance of calories in vs calories out and I was overcompensating from childhood (not getting 3 meals a day on some days).I have no alcohol or drug issues, then they asked about my sex life. That was a no-brainer as we had a small child at home so there is no sex life there. So he asks me if I am straying from my wife for my needs, and I told him, no, part of my commitment to starting a family was putting my daughters needs ahead of mine, but we were still trying to have "couple time" once a week where a sitter comes over to watch the baby, and restaurants frowned on making love on their tables. I also pulled out my research on protein grams, calories, the importance of vitamin supplementation, etc. I was passed along in one visit. I would focus on showing that you can make a plan and stick to it, and show examples in your life when you came across something that was not easy, but you were still able to overcome. Also relay how you have a great support network at home, and you know that this is a serious surgery and you have made the checklist and will committ to the new lifestyle. Good luck.

Ummm....sounds good, let me jot this down on my palms, I got CB's advice on my arms.

Hey Bob, no advice here, just prayers from my end.  Keep us posted. Greg

Bob, Good luck.  The 3rd one has to be the charm.  I am rooting for you.

Jim -=- You're looking  G R E A T !! From the left today KIM

Bob, I understand the "Twice Bitten, Twice Shy" business, BUT- (isn’t there always a BUT in every crowd?) It’s hard to screw up with the truth. If you are full out honest? Then there’s no "back story" to have to keep straight. Yes? Short and Terse? Well CB has no choice about being short, he’s hobbit sized! Terse? You could ‘come off’ as less than Stable…. A Psyche-Doc who knows what they are doing is checking for the following things- 1.) They want to make sure the patient has a clear understanding of the surgery and what accommodations/changes they will need to make after surgery is over. Also checking for unrealistic expectations for their recovery, weight loss, life after surgery. 2.) They want to see about patient’s support system: do they have one? 3.) Most important group- Is the patient suffering from any mental illnesses that may prevent them from having a normal healthy recovery. Will the illness escalate as the result of the surgery? Are they stable? Are there any other addictions that the patient is covering up (drug/alcohol use). Will any of these complicate surgery and/or endanger the patients life? Patient’s Success? Some docs give the MMPI II (the 500 questions exam) but often just the Beck Depression Scale Questionnaire. Many just talk with the patient to get them to "tell their story." From that talk, they get a sense if the patient is dealing straight or not. (the 500 ? Exam is designed to indicate BS as well) A person that makes their $’s to feed the kids by "reading people" Will smell any hint of BS. (even if they themselves are covered in it) Just "shoot straight and answer honestly." One bit from K Druid that is helpful- Don’t offer way Too Much info or extraneous crap that might "muddy the water." Stay "On Topic." The doc that said- "And if we can get to why you overeat - you'll be able to lose your weight the natural way." Was clearly clueless as to the benefits and usefulness of WLS. To that doc I’d say- "Yep, I’m going to address that very issue, But I’d like to fight that battle carrying about 200 lbs less. I know it’ll still be a struggle, but one that I’ll have the health and energy to fight." The doc that was offering an extra year of therapy? Same thing- "Sure, I’d like that to be part of my overall strategy for long term success. I’d just like to insure I take action now that’ll head off increased physical health risks as I work through and address those mental issues." All of the docs, even the quacks, believe they are providing the Best Mental Health Care advice. They are attempting to help. No one sets out to "Be the Bad Guy," particularly "The Bad Guys." They are the ones who are the most convinced that they alone are doing "The Right Thing." Same for Patients. The ones who need the help of a good counselor, are usually the very ones who are certain that "They Know what is Best" and that the "Docs are All Quacks!" Yes? Not giving your grief here, and Hoping this time is the charm, But offering the one little reminder-

There’s a REASON that Psyche Eval is a mandatory component of WLS approval. 3 out of 10 people will NOT lose or maintain a loss of even 60% of their excess weight. Typically, these are people who SHOULD have been screened out or guided toward more Counseling, Depression Management, Addiction help, Education, etc… PRIOR to having WLS. Those 3 out of 10 would never have said, prior to approval- "The Psyche Docs were right! I need more help to make this work!" They are most often the very people who were looking for "The Magic Bullet." Talk openly and Honestly, but also LISTEN. If you need to wait through another November, better THAT, than having the surgery and becoming one of those 3 out of 10 guys with regrets, a scar, screwed up guts, and still a health risk of a weight problem. Not being Devil’s Advocate, Just saying- "Be Open," and "Stay Open" to the insights of an objective counselor. Sending out prayers that you knock this one out of the park! Best Wishes- Dx