FROM THE BOARD JESTER (RETIRED)

We have all had our fair share of doctor visits.  I found these tidbits interesting with a certain amount of truth to them. Dan **************************************************************************************** WHAT THE DOCTOR SAYS AND WHAT HE REALLY MEANS

"This should be taken care of right away." - I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. "Well, what do we have here...?" - He has no idea and is hoping you'll give him a clue. "Let me check your medical history." - I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending anymore time with you. "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." - I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this is a waste of time. - or- - I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit. "We have some good news and some bad news." - The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it. "Let's see how it develops." - Maybe in a few days it will grow into something that can be cured. "Let me schedule you for some tests." - I have a forty percent interest in the lab. "I'd like to have my associate look at you." - He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle. "I'd like to prescribe a new drug." - I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig. "If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call." - I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by itself. "That's quite a nasty looking wound." - I think I'm going to throw up. "This may smart a little." - Last week two patients bit off their tongues. "Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we...?" - I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here? "This should fix you up." - The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff. "Everything seems to be normal." - Rats! I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all. "I'd like to run some more tests." - I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one. "There is a lot of that going around." - That's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this. "If the symptoms persist, call for an appointment." - I've never heard of anything so disgusting. Glad I'm off next week.

 

Yikes,...you typed all of that?? The glove must be working? I fear more of this is true than we reall y want to know. It is good to have you back. Now,..let me go see what Sheriff Dan is posting,...it probably to early in the week for some of the royal stuff he gives us, usually two at a time.  A lofty standard indeed.

No Joe I did not type all of that.  I used the good ole copy and paste method from my humor resources. Dan

No Joe I did not type all of that.  I used the good ole copy and paste method from my humor resources. Dan