Monday humor!!!!
Good Monday Morning Men.
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to fuss, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs." "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to panic and asked. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don't know her name; they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars." "Oh, my goodness," moaned the mother to the boy's father, "John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know what was going on. "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary. The secretary took his money and left him after they had arrived. He called me and claimed he was robbed and stranded. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to fuss, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs." "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to panic and asked. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "I don't know her name; they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars." "Oh, my goodness," moaned the mother to the boy's father, "John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know what was going on. "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary. The secretary took his money and left him after they had arrived. He called me and claimed he was robbed and stranded. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
And just because that one was a little dry I am giving you fine people another one.
Two men waiting at the pearly gates struck up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asked the second. "I froze to death," said the second. "How about you? How did you die?" "I had a heart attack," replied the first man. "I knew my wife was cheating on me, so I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom and found her alone. Then I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. Then I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a heart attack and died." The second man shook his head, "That's ironic," he said. " If you would've looked in the freezer first, we'd both still be alive!"
Two men waiting at the pearly gates struck up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asked the second. "I froze to death," said the second. "How about you? How did you die?" "I had a heart attack," replied the first man. "I knew my wife was cheating on me, so I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom and found her alone. Then I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. Then I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a heart attack and died." The second man shook his head, "That's ironic," he said. " If you would've looked in the freezer first, we'd both still be alive!"
Go****ell you if this one doesn't get me a comment nothing will.
Flat Belly A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it." "You’re wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
Flat Belly A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it." "You’re wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
I think you've found your calling in life... mens board Jester.
DD 
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