Attitude Adjustment

Guys I know I am new here and I haven't officially crossed to the other side yet and if I am overstepping my bounds I apologize. But I felt like I need to say this.

I read these wonderful success stories from people. I love reading them and cannot wait until I write my own. Then I read the responses to the stories and I see so many of you using the phrase "I hope". To me that is somewhat a self defeating attitude. It is as if you are making it OK if you don't make it. I think we need to be using the phrases "When I", "I am", "I will", "I am looking forward to when". Come on guys, make this journey a success and lets start saying "I will" instead of "I hope" when we are talking about our results.

point taken ksu, but remember, a lot of us are just plain scared. Not of the surgery, well a little but it has more to do with the fact that we tried everything to lose weight and failed. Hence, this feels like our last hope and chance. Of course once you start losing your whole attitude changes but until you see the results your mind is plagued with doubt and anxiety about sticking to the program, eating right, really losing, maintaining the loss etc. so everyone I think goes in with some trepidation of success. I do agree, positive thoughts will get you where you need to go. By the way, this is an open forum where you can express your thoughts so there's no such thing as oversteppping your boundries whether your new or a long time post op. Believe me, if you say something you think might be "wrong" these guys are not shy about letting you know........lol. So you are way ahead of the curve when you start thinking positive. I know you'll do well when it's your turn at bat. Good luck......Carbonblob

CB It's nice to hear that someone else is scared.  I am scared every day that I will get back there.  It is the foremost thing on my mind every day of my life. Scott

Believe me I can relate to everyone that has tried and tried to lose the weight. I have done the YO-YO weight lose thing. And maybe I had to get it off my chest more for myself. So when I am 6 months into this and I hit a plateau I can remind myself I will succeed and use it as a kick in the butt and remind me that this is my last option.

what's the old saying? this race belongs not to the swiftest but to those who keep running. there will be tests, obsticles, plateaus and all types of challanges on your journey. hell, just read all these posts! but i think this was truly the end of the road for most of us and by and large, from what i read here, we are all making the best of it. for some, like myself, we come here to keep ourselves accountable. we weigh in every sunday and try our best to keep posting every week. some get lost in exercise and yes, some slip and have a hard time. it was our bad habits that got us here so the real issue is how do we change our heads. i put forth it's a lot like addiction. i know some guys are rolling their eyes or getting pissed for the comparison but you can't quit an addiction by surgery or drugs or therapy alone. you have to really want to quit. the same goes for this surgery. you have to want to change. that's how you will overcome your weight problem. the pouch is a great thing but your head is stronger so that is what needs the surgery. take advantage of your first six months when your healing to get into the good habits. you know, for the first time probably, you really won't be hungry. you'll eat because you have to or by habit. i learned to stop when i'm full (still a hard one) and i put my fork down between bites. i also put all my food on a smaller plate and use all the tricks to make it look like i'm eating more. after a while you won't need the tricks but again, they're a habit for me now. there's a lot of good information and a great group of guys here willing to share their knowledge. just keep asking and you shall recieve! Carbonblob

I hear what you are saying but I hope that I can get my cravings under control.  I hope my body will allow me to keep running and I hope and sometimes pray that I will never get back to the former fat Scott that bought shoes based on whether or not they would just slip on because I could not tie them.  For me, "I will", does not work for the long term.  31 years has taught me that.  Every day is an I hope for me and again, 31 years of I will just didn't work. Scott 

Scott, remember the chat a couple of weeks back? well, that got me thinking. Dx asked why we exercise and why some of us go over the top with it. AJ had a great answer but you might be more like me. I'm just plain scared I'll fail and return to my former self. I go crazy if I don't hit the weights or my treadmill. This is not the healthiest outlook or reason for working out the way I do and I know it. My g/f's words during our first visit to the surgeons still haunts me. she said I always start out strong and then lose interest. Always searching for something else. I was determined not to blow this last chance. I know one thing. I always liked lifting so I know I'm not too crazy. You might find that, like AJ, you just found a new hobby and really like what it does for you on many levels. We are always going to have cravings and worry about our weight. We spent too many years ruining our heads. So at this point I say it's all about moderation and perspective. I try not to eat too much and I realize I can't keep this pace up forever so I'll just do my best and stay active on some level so my weight doesn't go overboard. That's the best I can do. Right now I've set a weight limit and I've kept under it. However, I might go past that number soon and if I do I'll have to readjust my head to get around it. Maybe I'll diet some or go back to the plateau buster. whatever, I'm not going to dwell on it now and that's the best I can do right now. I hope you find a common ground and can give yourself a break. I really know where you're coming from. when I had surgery on both my hands I couldn't lift anymore. I got depressed and instead of running or swimming I ate pizza. that was the beginning of the end for me. I won't go down that road again. a very expensive lesson learned. well, sorry to highjack this thread, just wanted to tell you don't sweat it. i think we're all scared on some level. we've tried so hard to succeed at this whereas we failed before. it's only natural we would doubt long term success. ok, later......Carbonblob

Ksu,

Could be that some are just "hedging bets?" The success rate for a person with a BMI that puts them in the Morbidly Obese category… *with Diet and Exercise alone – [ losing and maintaining loss for 5 years + is 5% success, 95% failure.] *with Diet and Exercise aided by Bariatric procedure- [losing and maintaining loss for 5 years + is 70% success, 30% failure.] Awesomely improved Odds, But the fact remains that for every ten individuals who have WLS, 3 of them will not maintain a loss of 65% of their excess weight for over 5 years. Sort of scary numbers when you look around a room of WLS folks and think- "3 out of every ten…" The better news is that Men Do tend to do better than their female counterparts. The mentality of life of Previously failed diets is a hard one for folks to shake. Although for most WLS folks there is that big sense of- "There’s No Going Back!" That’s not necessarily so. If one doesn’t use the "Do-Over-Re-Deal" that is WLS to establish New eating habits, food choices, lifestyle, Then they run a higher risk of being one of those 3 in the "10-pack" Who wasted a bunch of time and money and life. I’m coming up on year 4 and below goal with a normal range BMI for over 2 ½ years And I still feel like "a work in progress."

I’ve seen Way Too Many posters on the Main Boards Post- "200 Gone FOREVER!!!" Only to see them 5 months later posting on the Grads Board- "Re-Gaining 30 pounds and I can’t Control my snacking! HELP!"

Maybe watching a number of ****y-Folk slip and fall in the Chocolate While they were celebrating their "Forever" Victory Has warned some of us to "Stay Humble," And just be thankful that –"So Far, It’s Working!." I’ll let you know once I pass that 6 year post-op 5 years below goal mark…. By then? I may have changed my tune, but I’m not sure of that today…. I’m sticking to my Plan for the time being. "Nothing can Stop a man with a Plan!" ---I Hope! Best Wishes- Dx

KSU: I have not had a drink in 21 years... I never say I will never drink again... I say one day at a time.. I have no intention.. of drinking..God willing.. With food... it is even more of a mind fu%$..... I face food each and everyday... it makes the challange so real...so tactile... Your point is an excellent one... I think humble optomisim... tempered by respect for our challange is the right mixture... Thanks for bringing it up Kev-