What do men want?

Scott, Like I used to tell the gals back in college days- "You may have not been my first, just the best and the one I’ll always remember…." Probably only said that 6 or 7 times…. "I had amnesia once…..maybe twice."

Hey, I did put that {Scott, …} at the beginning! I thought it was way better than- {To Whom it may Concern, …] Best Wishes- Dx

In response to Paul in Dallas: mentioning my name and the need for spell check in the same post is no accident. And quite frankly I resemble that remark  ! Kev-

Hi Eric, I looked at some of the links you provided and don't think the goal-thing is for me, at least not right now. In my experience, at a certain point, there's an inverse relationship between "talking" and "sharing" and action. I'm better off limiting what, when, where, and with whom I share/publicize my goals (and my frustrations, failures, successes, etc.) That's why I treasure this Men's Forum pretty much exactly as it is. I lurked here for a few months, beginning a copuple weeks before my WLS and quickly became attached to many of the guys and the whole tone of the "Locker Room." Recently, I was away from home for nearly a month on a bereavement trip and checked into the Locker Room as often as possible. Being able to do so was a comfort and a delight. I cannot get the same feeling from the main board (Amos). I think many/most men really are different from many/most women when it comes to ways of communicating, bonding, nurturing, joking, etc. I'm not qualified to attribute these differences to genetics, evolution, culture (nature v. nurture), and don't care that much about such ultimately unverifiable speculations. It is enough for me to acknowledge gender differences in my life and time and, hence, to be grateful for a place where I can "get together" with kindred souls. In essence, I think, the entire Men's Forum is about goal setting, but in an ad hoc, let-it-play-out way. I, for one, find just about everything I need from an online support system right here. We have fun, care about one another, tinker with our avatars, and, when we wish, use the OH message system to chat. Thank you and the OH staff for providing such a rich resource--the OH Site and all of the sub-sites. I may someday want to link specific goals with like-minded folks, but for now, you'll find me in the Locker Room, snapping my towel instead of crying into it.

hey Eric,

thanks so much for this board, as you can see, i've been coming here for a while and have been part of its growth. It's amazing how many men come to this site now. i have to agree with some of the other guys, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. i've never had a support group and i'm a bit of a lone wolf so it's great to have this site. they've supported me in some of my darkest hours. i've had some serious issues i won't disclose here but these guys and this board brought me through.

as for the goal thing, i've learned in business, if you want to succeed in your plans, don't tell anyone. for reasons unknown, people, especially ones close to you, can sabatoge your very best intentions. why? a variety of reasons but for me, i don't share goals. that's not say it's not a good idea, just my personal opinion. if sharing goals helps even one person out, then go for it.

anyway, thanks again for putting this board together. i'm so amazed at how it's grown in the past year alone. take care.......carbonblob

I would like to echo the sentiment that I like the men's forum the way it is right now.   I really have no use for a "goal" setting forum....(just being honest).  If you really want to know what we want...I would like a quick reply system put on OH (check out www.duodenalswitch.com  It allows for quick replies, and would save me about a bunch of time jumping between posts.  I would like to see an upgrade to the chat system on OH.  The current system sucks.   Since we have your ear, I'd like to see the ban on several memebers lifted.  Diana Cox was a very influential and active member of the DS forum on OH, and was banned several months ago over nonsense.   I feel her time has been served and she should be allowed to return to posting on OH.   This sentiment is very strong on the DS forum, and several petitions have been put on the forum with over 80 signatures for her return, but yet until now she has still not been allowed to post.    I just wanted to take the time also to thank you for the efforts of your staff and moderators and event coordinators for working over the last year to make OH friendly to every surgery type.   When i first came on this site over a year ago, it was very RNY friendly, and there seemed to be a lot of effort (not by OH but by individual members) to put down other surgeries.  Even until recently other surgery types weren't included in OH meetings, but over the last year, this has changed, and is very much appreciated. Thanks for listening.