SATURDAY HUMOR

DAN PACKARD
on 3/16/07 10:26 pm - KOKOMO, IN

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY  "Two elderly Irish drinking buddies are sitting at the pub pondering on the future. One says to the other: You know Mr. O'Shea, we've had great sport together for many years. It just came to mind that should it be I who should happen to go first, it would mean a great deal to me if you would say a few kind words at "me" grave.  The other friend responds: That I'll do, Mr.O'Donnel, that I'll do. But should it be I who should happen to go first, for old times sake I'd be forever grateful if you would pour a bottle of Irish whiskey over "me" grave.   The friend responds: That I'll do. But about the Irish whiskey............would you mind it so much if it should happen to pass through "me" kidneys first?

If you have a prayer request whether WLS or personal, please visit our website at www.packardministries.org and click on PRAYER or email me at [email protected]

  You will  be added to our daily prayers.   One of our ministry objectives is to support those having or had WLS.   Pastor Dan 

 

 

 

 

underthegun
on 3/17/07 8:52 am - Starke, FL
A very ugly woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids.

The Wal-Mart Greeter asks, "Are they twins?"

The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they
really look alike?"

"No," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice.
underthegun
on 3/17/07 8:57 am - Starke, FL
One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies. Things are going fine until the bride discovers her husband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?" "Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope". She slides her hands further down and gasps. "Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks. "Honey, them's my knots", he answers. Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute". Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?" "No", the bride replies. "Just undo them da*n knots. I need more rope!"
underthegun
on 3/17/07 9:00 am - Starke, FL
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Maude: What in the hell is that? Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Maude: Where did you get it? Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. "Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel." The pharmacist fainted
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