MONDAY HUMOR

A good Monday morning to all.  Having been in a wheel chair for a few years maybe I can enjoy this more than others.  I can see this happening. Have a great day and keep laughing. Dan ***********************************************************************************************

A man is having a few drinks at a bar when he looks over and notices a drunk guy passed out at a table nearby. The bartender tells him the drunk is Mr. Murphy and asks the man if he could drive Mr. Murphy home. Being a good Samaritan, the man agrees. The bartender writes down the address and gives it to him. The man walks over and tries to wake Mr. Murphy but Mr. Murphy is groggy and quite drunk. The man helps Mr. Murphy to his feet and Mr. Murphy falls to the floor in a heap. "Jeez," the man says wondering how anyone could drink so much. He takes Murphy by the arm and practically drags him out to the car. Once there he leans him against the side of his car while he looks for his keys. Mr. Murphy slides down to the ground. The man finds his keys and manages to get Murphy positioned in the car. He then drives to the address the bartender gave him. He opens the passenger door and helps Mr. Murphy out and the guy falls to the ground. Cursing softly now, the man helps him to his feet and practically drags him to the front door. He lets go of Mr. Murphy to knock on the door and the guy falls down again. He helps him to his feet as Mrs. Murphy answers the door. "Hi, Mrs. Murphy? Your husband had a little too much to drink tonight so I gave him a ride home." "That was nice of you," she says, looking around, "But....where's his wheelchair?"

 

A very ugly woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids. The Wal-Mart Greeter asks, "Are they twins?" The ugly woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?" "No," replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice.

The Barber Shop A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left. A few days later the samee guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half." The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back. A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house."

Dan, That’s a Good one. I was wondering the other day… Are you pretty much stuck in the chair most of the time? Or some with a walker? After I was first home and just starting to use a walker We bought a good one rather than rented from the pharmacy. I’m hanging onto it cause I’m sure it’ll come in handy some day But I was wondering How you’re getting about? And what’s the prognosis for after the back implant stimulator? Did they give you some ‘speculations’ like what and when you’ll be moving like? Just wondering. Hope they get you fixed up there soon. Just thinkin’ bout ya! Best Wishes-

Dx

Dex I will tell you it all depends on what day it is.  I have the chair charged up in case I need to go somewhere and I am having a bad day.  We have an electric lift in the back of our Van so that helps my wife to easily get it in the back of the van. There are other days when and I have to use a cain and others I will use the walker.  I have a very good walker that we had for my mother-in-law.  Today is cain day. Yesterday was a supper day and when we went to Indianapolis to meet up with Kim and Floyd and Brenda I was able to manage to walk on my own.  Today I am paying for having such a good day yesterday.  I have been in bed most of the day and really having trouble getting around.  This is what is so frustrating because I can not plan on anything or comitt to doing something because until I get up and moving I do not know whether I can make it. So far I have had the initial contact with the Dr who will be doing the implant and also the Psyc Eval.  The paper work is now in the hands of the insurance company so who knows how long it will take.  Just like waiting for WLS. They tell me the miniumum results should be at least a 50% reduction in the pain during the trial period of around one week with the unit straped on outside my body.  If I feel that the stimulator will improve my life and give them the green light, then they will implant it. I am wearing a Tens Unit today that the VA gave to me and with it turned up max it seems to helping. I am committed to licking this problem with the Good Lord's help.  I really believe that all the prayers that going out around the country are being heard.  I don't seem to be having the delibating pain I have had in the past. Thanks for your concern my friend. Dan