You're my community

Glad you came back around Steve! Ken

Ken, I agree with all these guys that your post was outstanding.  I tend not to read long posts but was glad I read yours.  I didn't have this group when I was going through WLS so sometimes I feel like I don't fit in, but I've enjoyed the friendship.  Since we live in same city, I hope to meet you sometime. Floyd

Thanks Floyd, I think we were at the Clarian Bariatric Center meeting a couple of wednesdays ago.  It was ash Wednesday and Ruthanne had to get out the door fast that night or I would have introduced myself.  Am I right that you were there with your wife?  I was in the back row in the middle and Ruthanne had me say a few words about my first month. Hope you are enjoying this fantastic weather!  Supposed to be nice all weekend. Ken

Ken, Yeah, that was our first support group meeting since coming to Indy.  We thoroughly enjoyed it and went back to the one this week.  I remember you speaking about your first month but since I was in front of you, don't remember what you looked like.   Wish I had known it was you.  Next time you go, introduce yourself.  I plan on going to the next one, too.  It is a great support group. About time this weather has gotten better.  Have a good weekend. Floyd

Hey Ken,,, 100% of the time, I choose family of choice over family of origin... I have no Idea what went on, fill me in.....you got my e-mail Russ

You've got mail

Ken - you are much more eloquent that I am.   I think I lived in Brooklyn too long to be diplomatic.  Thank you for taking an attitude of inclusion.  I was going to send you an email to thank you personally for the post (don't worry, I'm not narcissistic enough to think you wrote the post just for me LOL) - but, I wanted to thank you publically.  Dx - same to you and the others *****ached out to me after the onslaught the other day. I have no intention of apologizing for expressing my opinion, but I really appreciate you stating what I was unable to Dx - I am 522 pounds of nerves right now.  Part of why I was offended by the joke is because I had been enjoying this forum for a few days and was looking forward to this group as a place for information and support - then, when I read the gay joke I decided to post my opinion to see if I was the only one offended.   I didn't do this to stir the pot - I don't need to create drama in my life - I work with teenage drug addicts!!!!!!!!!   I have drama to spare!!!!!! After the responses I received I was hurt (hell, I'm human) - and I had no interest in defending my opinion - it's my opinion, I don't need to defend it.  But, when I came back the next day, I had several messages from guys asking me to give the forum a second chance - and I did.  So far I am glad I did.  Thanks again for the post Ken - and, thanks to everyone who has reached out to me to help me feel welcomed and supported.  

Thank you for the kind words Tall Man, and I'm glad you are hanging around again as well.  I know that I was a MESS the week before surgery, and I think you're handling things fine.  It's not easy.  I'm about a week shy of 2 months out and I'm just now feeling somewhat back to normal emotionally.  It' has been a wild ride! Good luck with your surgery and keep us posted when you get back!! Ken

Ken Thanks for this post.  It has generated some very helpful information, especially for me. In writing my daily humor post which is being done because the majority of the guys on this board have indicated they want me to continue because they get a bit of uplift from them.   The problem with posting daily jokes is that I am try to be so careful that the joke will not offend anybody or they may not return to this board to get the benefits that this board was set up for.  Although this particular joke about the gay ranch hand was not posted by me, I had a case several months ago when I posted the joke that related to depression and one of our members was offended.  I decided then that I would not do my daily humor post anymore for the fear of hurting someone.  The number of emails and post telling me to forget it and keep posting because they look forward to reading them every day, amazed me.    I decided to continue but with caution.   I have come to the conclusion that almost any jokes have the potential to offend someone because jokes look at the funny side of mankind.    I would like to ask all of you *****ad my daily humor post that if you are offended or feel a joke is inappropriate to drop me a private email and let's talk about it there, rather than create a distraction here on the board.   Believe me when I say that I carefully consider what I post and try to select jokes that that everyone can get a chuckle over and not be offended.   My main purpose is why I am still on the board 15 months after my surgery is that I need the support from my friends here and more important is to encourage those who are looking into surgery and sharing my story with them and to show support and encouragement for those about to have surgery and those who are post surgery.   I am not just here to be the Board Jester. Gee, I think Dex's long posting is catching on. Dan

 

Dan, I am a big fan of your daily humor post!  I wouldn't change a thing about it if I could.  You know something....it really wasn't that guy's joke so much that caused the trouble, but the "arms race" on both sides of the issue that followed it.  I don't think that the issue was ever homosexuality, I think the issue was censorship.  Men don't like to be told what not to do.  It's in our DNA.  If someone calls us on something we react, sometimes pretty harshly.  To me, it's more about compassion and kindness to others and less about political correctness. I hate political correctness and I fight against it at all costs.  I always try to think about what I post and if it is going to make someone feel bad, or threatened, or not included.   I NEVER consider political correctness anymore.  There is just no time for nonsense like that.  Political correctness is a cheap way out of a situtation.  It alleviates the need for people to really THINK about what they are saying by following a formula.  Nothing good will ever come out of it, in my opinion. It is very obvious that you think about others when you post, and I admire that about your daily humor postings very much.  I read them just about every day and I would sorely miss them! Thanks for taking the time to write about all this. Ken