I'm out of control...

carbonblob
on 3/5/07 3:06 pm - los angeles, CA
just look a little closer and ask if you're using food has become an addiction. because from here, you're describing those feelings. the hard part is you can stop drinking and other abuses but you can't stop eating food. so i would suggest you start a serious dialouge in your head about how your going to change your eating lifestyle that we talk about here all the time. make a game plan for when head hunger strikes you. visualize what you'll do when all your buddies are watching the game eating pizza and drinking beer. if you can work out these scenerios ahead of time the further down the road you'll be when these demons confront you. you used terms like scared and can't stop and old habits. treat your eating like an addiction. maybe you need to 12 step your eating to get it under control or maybe just keep coming here and listening to the guys. that's what i did. i found i had the same problems as everyone else here did and i listened to their solutions. so in a way i was prepared for the worst if it hit me too. one piece of advice i can give is don't beat yourself up. just eat less tomorrow if you have big day of eating. keep telling yourself you'll just eat less tomorrow. that way you didn't kick your own ass or beat yourself up. in the end, it's up to us individually to succeed with this surgery. the first step is to come here and be honest. you've done that. the next step is listen. some of the guys have put some real nuggets out here for you. think about that and let us know how you're doing......Carbonblob
DoubleDee
on 3/5/07 8:13 pm - Holland, MI
You're right CB. I need a gameplan, then I need to run the program. Right now I'm in "reactive" eating mode. Hitting the first restaurant with "all you can eat" on the marquis, and a coupon. I need to plan my meals, and stick to the plan. For now anyway, that's what works for me. Food is hard to "quit". I quit a 3 pack a day smoking habit- cold turkey. You can't just cold turkey on food. Did I really quit smoking? Or, did I replace my Marlboro lights with Whopper, Jrs.?  Somehow, I need to learn to control it. Moderation is not my strong suit.  Thanks for making me address my own head. DD  
carbonblob
on 3/6/07 12:47 am - los angeles, CA
hey DD, you know what i've been going through with my "permanent midnight" post. it's no secret we have a food addiction and will replace with something else if we don't own up to it or stop it in its tracks. moderation is not for me either. i'm an all or nothing kind of guy. i'm not a 12 step thumper because i've used a different way to quit but i use some of their steps. we all have to. the first thing is to admit your helpless when it comes to food. once you realize that, then you start your plan. you've been very honest here on this post about your condition. that takes a big man and i know you can pull through. you're right, we still have to eat, now try to look at food as fuel instead of comfort. i always use the mantra, protein first. somehow that little saying makes me look for the good stuff first. or i'll drink tea or water. anything to stop head hunger or real hunger. another trick i've learned is to eat several small meals a day. like 5 to 7 200 calorie meals a day. i don't do it all the time but i try to keep my blood sugar constant and hunger away. just some tips that might work for you. keep posting and let us know your progress. it all starts in your head like you said. we're here for you......Carbonblob
wjoegreen
on 3/5/07 11:26 pm - Colonial Heights, VA
DD, You started out with the root of the problem.  You're scared.  I used food for comfort, food for anger, saddness, loneliness,....it was a good friend, but it nearly killed me.  I was so embarassed when I came to a reality about my weight at 408 I was ashamed to die and expect anyone to be willing to be a pall bearer.  Who would be willing to try and pick me up unless they gutted me first to lighten the load? I tried doing the post-op liquid diet about two years before choicing to have surgery and made it two weeks.  Them binged out like a crazy person.  The liver-shrinking diet they put me on pre-op for the real thing this time, I just had to make a choice.  I'm going to do this and be successful or I'm not.  I had to draw a line in the sand with myself.  If I wasn't going to play by the rules, why waste my doctor's time and my money.  When was I going to get serious? Then I decided the pre-op diet was a good thing to , besure the liver wasn't to rigid or big to prevent the surgery, and I decide to try and lose as much weight as possible before the day of surgery so when the serious weight loss began, it would be from then lowest possible weight.  It worked.  I lost 14 lbs in 13 days and 33 lbs the first period between surgery and my first followup visit.  Its been 5 months now and I'm down 135 lbs,..size 60 to a 46 pants.  I feel tons better (no pun intended). You can do this but only you can make that decision.  Eating out is water, and lean white meat.  It isn't for a life time. In 6 months to a year you can eat real food again, but by then your brain and your new digestive track will have had the opportunity to relearn good eating habits,..if you tkae advantage of the chance to relearn good eating habits. You can do this.  We have been there and succeeded.  You are as good as any of us.   That s why we all hang together out here. we encourage and support each other throught the spots we've been.  It gets us throught the mental struggles and what I call the bumps in the road,...and even have a few laughs. Knock it down DD.  Make the choice and get in the game. Joe
DoubleDee
on 3/6/07 2:38 am - Holland, MI
Joe, Good stuff. You're right. It's time to get serious. Thanks for sharing your story. DD
alwuetrich
on 3/6/07 4:28 am - Hopkins, MN
I had what I considered my "last supper" on Sunday night.  I am now doing the liquid preop diet for 9 days and so far, it has not been a problem.  I am keeping my mind busy with other things and not thinking about food.  It's a mental thing, and I know why I'm doing it.  You'll be fine as long it's truly what you want.  As Dex pointed out, it's not really last supper.  It's just different portions later.  Good luck. Al
HePaid4That
on 3/6/07 4:55 am
DD, very normal because everyone is telling you that you can't eat all your favorite foods after surgery.  You can, they just don't taste as good and you are not as satisfied with them.  I have had ice cream and brownies and pizza and chips - I experimented at about 8 weeks.  They tasted OK, but they don't even smell as good and I didn't feel that great afterwards.  Not the full on dumping, but just upset stomach and nauseus.  Sort of like eating White Castles ;-) You are going through this process now because in your mind it will be 8-9 months before you can eat it again.  Other than steak I've tried just about everything I liked before surgery.  The bloomin onion was the worst and really made me sick.  The rest were just - well I didn't really enjoy them all that much.  Funny thing about after surgery life.  Nothing tastes as good as watching the scale go down makes you feel. So don't worry too much about any of it.  Eating too much now or not being able to eat anything for a year.  It's simply not true.   Hang in there. Greg
DoubleDee
on 3/6/07 5:29 am - Holland, MI

Greg, Thanks I needed to hear that. I'm hoping surgery helps with my appetite. I know surgery is a radical solution, but I'm in need of a drastic intervention. Thanks again. DD

 

 

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