a WOW moment today- not in a good way

I have a customer hwo had WLS about 1.5 years ago. He had some serious complications but in the end he was very happy he did it. I don't see most of customer regularly but stop by when I am in the are just to say HI. I called this guy and ask if I could stop by to talk about his WLS as I am in the process. I was there for a couple of hours(2)  while we chatted he was also working, he owns the place and is very hands on. He has lost 100+ Lbs but could still lose another 50 or so, I never understood why he didn't lose it all, until today. While I was there, he had a pastrami sandwhich, 3 20oz diet cokes and a bag of M&Ms.  Clearly hes headed back to where he was before WLS. How common is this? it kinda freaks me out, that people would go through the process just to go back to the old way of doing things. Obviously Carnie Wilson has had the same issue, but do they have any hard data on how successful or how may "relapse" after WLS

Hi going mobile, here's the answer, we're addicts. harsh but true. we are all on this board because we're addicted to food and needed help. we also needed the kind of success that dieting just wouldn't or couldn't bring us. this surgery is half the battle. the other half is making the lifestyle changes so that you look like Dx almost 4 years later. Do you think Dx used to read those ****ty labels and look for low carbs and trans fats? Me neither. so no sugar coating here. your friend is failing because he didn't make the changes to maintain. he might not be "as fat" but he could get there in time. you bet this scares the crap out of each and every one of us. well, i shouldn't speak for the others so let's say i've heard it enough to know that's a majority feeling. the scary thing for all of us in here is twofold. First, our addiction is not like drugs or drinking or whatever. We need food to live so you can't walk away from it. Bummer but we have to eat to live. Secondly, somewhere down the road either through testing or loss of willpower we find out that "Oh Crap" we can still eat everything we used to (some restrictions yes) and chug water, beer, smoke and whole host of things we thought would magically disappear in our new post op life. This was a cold hard fact I learned as a newbie. I have some news that effects all of us. there's a serious possibility of changing our food addiction to something else. that's a whole other topic i won't address right now but you see where I'm going with this. the guys here will tell you my line is, get your head and ass wired together. this is my simple mantra. now i want to share something i just learned in my support group. i used to beat myself up and say i failed today when i ate this or that but i'll start over tomorrow. well, that worked for me pretty good until the therapist said i was still beating myself up and putting pressure on myself. she said why not just say, I ate too much today, I'll eat less tomorrow. ****! what a revelation. why do we even beat ourselves up so much? if we just take it one day at a time and make a promise to be a little better then that should do it. I used to work myself up so much for cheating with food that i punished myself. maybe your friend is doing the same thing and heaping self shame and failure on himself. so what used to be our biggest comfort and his? food. he needs help. we all need help. it starts right here on the men's board........Carbonblob

Well said CB. Unfortunately, this type of behavior is common place to many of us at some point in our journey. I am battling my demons (food) again. Testing the waters so to speak & finding out more than I need to know, i.e., I can eat a lot of stuff that got me in trouble in the 1st place. I have not regained any weight, but it's scary to see that it could be so easy. CB is correct when he says that we're addicted, and that is not an easy thing to for anyone to accept--that we are power less over food (or, booze, drugs, whatever...). I hope that your customer will get himself back on the path to a healthy eating pattern soon enough.  BTW, I hope you gave him a good price for the phones. Jay 

i wanted to thank you to Jay. not to highjack his post but after i pushed the send button i thought, oh **** i'm calling all of us addicts. what an asshole! so my apologies in advance to those i might have offended using this term. even if it's what i believe (in my case) it's only my idiotic opinion. i have no excuse other than my heads been up my ass the past few weeks. you don't have to be an addict just because you had the surgery. there's other reasons and everyone is an individual and have their own reasons and yes demons. you know, i really thought on my start of the journey that i would never be able to eat anything ever again. i really believed that. after reading Dx, the Wad, buckeye and bunch of other guys who've been here forever, i found out i had to get my head together and realize i better change habits and stop counting on the pouch for answers. this was a huge awakening for me. i just really didn't know. all the more reason this board is so important. it's the real deal if you want the truth. one big guy telling another big guy, you can do it only if that's what you really want. i need to shut up now! Carbonblob

No need to apologize CB. What you said is true for many of us in the Locker Room. Your, opinion, BTW, is hardly idiotic. It was an articulate and insightful response to a serious question that needs to be addressed from time to time to remind us that we are not "cured." I hope things are going well with you CB...hang in there.  Jay

thanks Jay, I was a writing fiend last night! I just had to respond to every post for some reason. chili was having a bad night so this is where I came to lose myself. i think i got a little carried away. in all my years of sobriety i've never been a thumper, to each his own when it comes to recovery. i just called it a little too fast on this post and felt i could have been a little more subtle but reading some of the responses i might have hit a nerve. we do have a food addiction that's for sure. my hardest hurdle is head hunger. i thought i had it beat but it seems to sneak back in every chance it gets. Like Scott, i don't want to have burn 3,000 calories a day to stay fit. i just want to eat enough calories and stop and stay thin. but that's hard because like him, i still want to eat. so much more now because i'm off the pain pills which really killed my appetite. so once again another road, another journey and another trial to overcome. thanks for asking about me, i'm doing fine and hope you are too........Carbonblob

The most common quote that you hear on these boards is, "it's a tool."  Can you use the honeymoon period to establish and keep new positive habbits?  I, for example, have not been nearly as successful as I should.  Yeah, yeah, I run marathons.  That is great but I eat crap all the time.  If I used the first year to form strict habbits, I would weigh less, run faster and be happier now.  I am not throwing in the towel because being thin feels so good but I also don't want to have to run marathons to stay this way.  I don't know if it will be a never ending struggle  --- yes I do.  The struggle will always be there and perhaps it comes down to one day at a time.

i have to admit i was a bit surprised to hear this Scott! i wasn't aware of your battle with head hunger and food choices. however, you hit it on the head, one day at a time. like i said in the first post, my therapist in the group said to just say i'll eat less tomorrow and not beat yourself up about today. the less pressure you put on yourself then i think it's easier to adhere to what needs to be done tomorrow. just cut back a little bit. that's what i've been doing at night. it's hard for sure but i forgo that extra whatever it is i'm craving and just drink tea or water or a sf popsicle and go to bed or come here. i sure hope you find a happy medium that will allow you to enjoy your marathons without them being the source of your weight maintanence. sorry, can't spell today for some reason! so hang in there, we're here for you.....Carbonblob

CB,       you're totally right. No matter which way you slice it, we are addicts. I am only 7 weeks out today and I still can't stop thinking about when I can "eat" again.I can barely eat 2 slices of deli turkey and a cheese stick but my head wants to still eat. Also going along with my addictive behavior is the fact that I am addicted to working out and finding new exercises for things I want to get in shape.  Btw I have to hit up you or Dave for a weight training program. Buying an olympic bench and new bar tonight, so I am excited to get started.

i wish i could just get addicted to somthing good insted of always being so self destructive.... i know that one day its going to get the best of me no matter what it is but i always do it again...whatever it may be at the time...