Another set of questions

I assume its safe to say that as "big" guys we sort of hold on to the fact that we are stronger than most of our thin counterparts.  What I mean is, though we may be overweight, we carry an "air" of power or strength about us.  In particular those of us who lift weights or exercise to some degree despite our girth.   Anyway, here is my question or questions.  After your surgery did you lose that "air" of strength due to your relatively rapid weight loss?  If you did, at about what point did it return, if at all?  If it hasn't returned due to getting "used to" the new lighter you, when do you feel strong enough to even attempt to venture into a gym?  I fear by choosing RNY I might go from a stocky, muscular guy albeit flabby and bloated as well, to a skinny weak guy.  I'm not completely sure I expressed myself well in asking these questions, but hopefully you get what I mean.  Thanks guys. Sonny

First of all, yes, to a degree you lose the "big guy" thing.  And yes, I (we) definitely get what you mean.  I told my brother as a pre-op that I would trade big strong guy for 98lb weakling.  I am sticking to that.  Fortunately, I am still 245 lbs and one of the stronger guys in my gym.  Most of us have strong legs as pre-ops and it is easy to keep the strong legs in the gym.  That is how I fended off my feelings of being small or weak.  When I am feeling insignificant, I throw 9 plates on each side of the leg press and feel good again.  Overall, the aura of being the big guy is lost.  People (especially new people) just see you as you are which is hopefully smaller and healthier. Scott

 I have been turning sexy, and frankly i'll trade in big and strong every time. If you havnt noticed your ego gets bigger as well.  Buzz

I understand exactly what you are speaking of. The truth is I am stronger now that I ever was.   Early on I felt weaker but as time goes by I started workingout and my strength returned. Not only returned I became more powelful. I don't look more powerful but am.

Sonny, Interesting question and one that pops up from time to time. For me, "Big Guy Status," was more about my sense of humor Than strength. I have gone from a Southern –"Shrill-Boss-Hog-Big-Daddy" Type, To a fairly geeky "pencil-neck." Just not having a Big-Bod for my arms to rest on all the time Leaves these skinny, flapping arms to flail around and feel about 3 inches too long. For me, there has been more "adjustment" in my ‘Persona,’ or way of talking with folks. Re-Post from over 2 years ago…………… Adjustments in how you "interface" with the world? ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I was reading a post by Steve Whitmer about "Always being Big Steve" And how much that persona was a part of who he was. I’ve been noticing that I’ve had a major shift in my "public persona" as well. I’ve been a fairly successful person, Funny, a public speaker all my life, Respected in my field and such. I was always aware that my "Self image," Had very little to do with my "Body image." I used to say that I live in my body The way most people drive in their cars. I was "in" my body, but I never felt that I "was" my body. Does that make any sense to anyone out there? Or does it sound a little too Timothy Leary. I’ve also had to create a whole new range of phrases- I used to give a funny little compliment to one of my Students who had made a break through or brought up A particularly bright comment in my seminar, by saying- "You are as wise as I am Large." It was a mildly humorous compliment but one that Obviously "Was a Compliment." And it would just roll off my tongue with out thought. Now, that would be like saying- "Well, you’re, uh, So-So." I must have hundreds of such phrases that just Had habitually become part of my banter. "Don’t make me throw my weight around." "This flooring feels a little squishy to me, But then again, for Me? So does concrete." "Sorry I’m sweating, but if I didn’t I’d explode." When I was fitted for a tux I said to the tailor- "Here, I’ll hold this end of the Tape, and you drive around." "You go on ahead; when I haul Ass it takes three trips." And always- "There’s So Much of me to love." It dawned on me, I’d spent my life beating others to the word- "Fatso." I had this Effective, Charming, Disarming, Defense mechanism, That will just have to gather dust in the past. But while slipping on my Medium Shirts, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to start missing it any time soon.

Best Wishes- Dx

I can totally relate to the above story. My nickname for the longest time has been "Big R". I'm sure there are some that don't even know my real name. What should they call me now, "R", "Lil R", "Not as Big R"? Hey, I've got a good idea, how about calling me Ronnie or Ron. (Just a thought) I've never had much of a complex when it came to my former size. As a matter of fact, I never seen myself as "fat" at all. When the pictures came out it was always shocking to see myself. It's almost like seeing someone elses body with my head attached, and a fat head at that. The only reason I personally could see as an advantage for being the "BIG GUY" is maybe intimidation, haven't been interested in that since high school. The "BIG" thang came in handy back then.  Have you ever heard the phrase:  "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels".  Well you could change that to  "Keeping the "BIG GUY" persona doesn't compare with the way being thin feels". Doesn't sound as good as the original, but I'm sure you understand the point.

Stronger?  I feel great, do more, active all day.  However, at 345 when I was going to move something or lift something, just had to lean into it.  At 178 that doesnt work as great as it use to. Two years 1 Mar, still have to look twice in the mirror. Flabby? some, dont know where my ass has gone to, but dont miss it.  being able to see and feel your body, (God, I have ribs) is great. Still odd how people that you dont know will talk to you now, when they would not look at you before.  Got to Love It. Dennis 

You can't forget about your Johnson either.  Every 50 pounds you lose, you gain an inch.  So....big guy at work or big guy at home?  No brainer....

interesting subject Sonny. I was actually reading about this very topic a while back somewhere. this surgery seems to rob some of the big guys their self image of a strong man. somehow equating being big with being strong or bad ass. now here's my take. to some of you big guys, your weight was your armour. so when you lose the weight you lost your self image of being a man, a tough guy as it were. i never got that image thing actually. if you lift weights for lifting or bodybuilding then you can tell when a guy has real power. big heavy guys never scared me and i never looked at them in awe or fear. all guys know the line they won't cross with another man who can kick their ass. it's a built in thing even if all you other guys won't admit it..lol. anyway, i respect someone who works out and I can see the results. now i'm not talking about bodybuilders here. i'm talking about fit guys, ballplayers, cyclers, triathalon guys and weightlifters who never look like bodybuilders. i know they're fit and tough and wouldn't tangle with them if i didn't have to. a big guy who is just heavy, well, that doesn't mean a damn thing to me. as small as i am i'm just not impressed or afraid of that type of guy. i feel, in the world of men who sometimes have to fight, well, i could handle those guys. now the fit guys, it's a toss up and we're both going to get hurt. been there done that. I'm in construction so i see fights just too much of the time. as for me, i would rather be lighter and have speed. now the bad part. any heavyweight hit will just plain knock your brains out but you still need power to fight the fitter guy. so there's my answer. if you're really talking about being tough and staying that way, then this is why i answered the question in a fighting scenerio. trust me, you'll feel a lot tougher when you get yourself back in shape. i hope you never have to fight EVER in your life. i hate fighting, it's stupid beyond belief but this long answer is meant to tell you I believe you will feel much better about yourself when you're fit and just not so heavy, even if you never enter a gym. whew, i need to shut up now.....Carbonblob