I AM IN CONTROl...long and nasty

Hello Friends.... I wanted to give y'all and update...from yesterday to today.... Yesterday was miserable.....I had prepared to get my last drain out....I was happy and frolicking, even put gel in my hair, practically dancing in the doctors office lobby... The I get into the back room, and the doctor, and the doctor tell me I have a fluid pocket, in my crotch...and that he needs to stick a big ass needle in my *^&*(^... Ok I lost it...I was a quivering mass...I had no resemblance to a human...much less a man...I told the doc to leave to drain in, that I never wanted to have a needle near me again....now this needle **** did not hurt...it was a total mind game...my brain was not ready.... My doctor was very calm, and told me, that with the amount of skin I had removed, that needle aspirations were common, and that was just how the game was going to be played..he was not mean, he was not snotty, he knows me and he was being honest... I came home, I was still jerking, and on the verge of tears, Kelly, poor thing has no option but to go side by side with me into the depths of hell....I wanted to put my head in the oven and turn on the gas...it was ugly..... Ok lets side step, yesterday, while I was shaking, we had a really good discussion on the Texas board...with our friend "Paul In Dallas"...Paul really kicked my ass on an unrelated subject, but it boiled down to taking control of you own life, and not giving you personal power to anyone.....we chatted back and forth, and it was a pretty powerful exchange....after him clarifying his position, I realized I was being really passive...imagine that...me passive....but I felt better about our exchange.... I took an Ambien, and I slept good...when the alarm went off...I looked at the clock and realized I was laying in a puddle..the ****** Drain had come open in the bed again, and I do to do the M**** F***ing Laundry AGAIN..... I Looked at Kelly and said...I'm going to the doctor today and they are pulling this ****** Drain, and if they have to stick harpoons in me...then LETS DANCE!!!! I was in control, and I was not passive any longer, (thank you Paul)....if I'm going be miserable, the I want a little say about the misery....I hate the needle, and I hate the drain, and now I'm at the point where at least I get to choose... Bottom line, the drains were pulled, If I have to get stuck I know who to call, and then with more gel in my hair, I went to my job and reclaimed the patient that surrendered to have this surgery....Monday, I start to make money for the house hold again, I will sleep good tonight, and if next week I have to get a needle stuck in me, I'll pull up my big boy undies and handle it...I need to have some control over my life and...there is not a chance for infection, and my health is secure...it was mental health that was shaken... But not any more....Damn it feels go to be at the wheel...even if I hit a wall, I did it, not a random spin of the universe.... Thank you for all your help, and he hearing you guys, kick each other from time to time....it does trickle down..... As far as life goes.......LET"S DANCE!!!!! Russ

Your the man Russ.  By the way, isnt ambien kick ass? I have a bottle for when I work screwy shifts and cant sleep.

Great post Russ, proactive instead of reactive. Sometimes we need a little kick in the ass to get us going and your post just did that. Good bad or what ever you are calling the shots.  Thanks  pan head

Russ,

Mailed that image to you. Be looking for a hotmail.

Dave