FRIDAY HUMOR (TRUE STORY)

This is a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida... An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shakenthat she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why...For the same reason she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12 packs in the front seat... A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. MORAL OF THE STORY? If you're going to have a Senior Moment, make it memorable!

they will tell this story at her funeral Russ

During a packed church service, the rear doors of the sanctuary suddenly flew open and a devilish looking man stood at the door.  His breath was fire, his fingertips glowed red, and when he pointed - fire would shoot out.  Every step he took, fire embers dropped from his shoes.  Demons flew around him praising the Anti God.  The preacher and the choir was the first to go, exit out.  As the congregation looked back to the devil as he trod down the aisle, people were jumping out the windows.  Within 3 minutes the whole church was empty save one little old man sitting on the front row.  The devil turned and with fire breath screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?"  The little old man answer calmly, 'yep, you the devil...'  "WHY AREN'T YOU SCARED OF ME - LITTLE ONE!"  The man calmly replied, "I was married to your sister for 50 years, I am not scared of nuthin!" 

Yet another reason all states should issue concealed carry permits if you ask me!  But I live in the People's Republic of Illinois...don't expect that law to pass here anytime soon :-(