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dlete

Hey CB,  You're right, it is a higher calling. It's an honor to be asked and it demonstrates that they think highly of you and your opinion.  I've never led a support group or anything like that, but whenever I've been in a setting like that (mostly work stuff), my golden rules are: 1) be myself 2) remember I've got two ears but only one mouth 3) be honest, even if it's painful to do so I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so I have a hard time being dishonest or deceitful with people cuz I can't remember exactly what I said to whom. I know that, if I lie or exaggerate, I'll eventually get caught up in what I say, so that's an incentive for me to be brutally honest, whether it's telling someone else what they need to hear or opening myself up to painful things from my past.  They're turning to you because you're one of the guys, not a psychologist or MD or anything. Tell it like it is and trust your gut. You'll seldom go wrong that way.  Best of luck CB! Joe

Fred, Oh yes!  What an awesome opportunity for you.  When I read your permanent midnight post the other day I swear I thought to myself   "His story is going to help others someday"!  I didn't know it would be so soon, but damn!  That's awesome. It's totally natural to be afraid/nervous when you're starting out on a new adventure like this.  My advice would be to let the shrink types handle the details, the format, the program and you show up and connect with people.  You have something they don't.  Your STORY.  It sounds like that's what they are looking to you for, your experience and what you've gained from it.   You say that you're not the type of guy who shares, but I think I'm seeing the contrary.  The people you will be talking to will want this from you:  your 100% presence, your attention, your focus, your honesty, your truth without sugarcoating or bull****ting.  I think that if you go in and share your story it will start the ball rolling and things will move along nicely from there. Personally, I don't think that there is a single person who has had this surgery because of "gland problems.:"  We're in the boat together because of ADDICTION.  We're all addicts.  Well..I can't speak for everyone.  But i am definitely an addict.  When I read your story I think to myself how easily that could be me, and it helps me know what to avoid.  See...You're already doing helping.  I have stayed away from cigarettes for ages now....I have to keep staying away from food AND stay out of my medicine cabinet.  (I am a nurse, you know...I have always had to keep things at arms length because I know what and addict I really am.) Good luck to you!  Please keep us posted on how it's going!  I'm really excited you're getting this opportunity.  I think this might lead to good things for you. Ken 

Ken,  So true! Many people think we overeat because we're lazy or dumb or some other crappy reason, but I agree we're addicted to sugar or carbs or something. I didn't overeat becasue I was hungry, for crying out loud, but because I just had to have it.  Even two years post-op, my biggest fear is giving in to the evil temptation of my old habits. I can tolerate sugar more than I could right after surgery. I can eat more food than I could at first. All the wrong things have the potential of conspiring against me. What I have working for me, though, is the knowledge of what I've become (what I've lost really...) and--finally--I have the determination (willpower?) to say, no, I'm not gonna let that dragon slay me, I'm gonna slay it!!! Joe

CB, what an awesome blessing.  The only advice I can give you is take this and run with it.   Keep in mind that in human behavior, we typically learn and remember only 15% of what we hear, 50% of what we see, 70% of what we hear, see and experience emotionally but 100% of what we teach.  The greatest way to learn something ourselves and keep us from falling is to teach it to others and pass it along.   But at the same time you realize that you are still right there in the fight yourself and are just a beggar tellign another beggar where to find bread.  We are all in that same boat with WLS and addictions.  I'm psyched for you.  What a tremendous opportunity.   Congrats.  If we can help in any way, let us know. Greg

Hey Fred.... Another nurse here.....I know that I truly understand something when I'm able to teach another person..does that make sense... When I teach someone something...I reinforce it to my self..Answering someone elses questions, makes me rethink and idea.... **** this sound circular....teaching makes the teacher stonger.... and I think you may have something wrong.....you don;t like to open up....if it were about an exercise or gym routine...you are a flowing river, to someone in need.... Help is help....exercise or addiction, teaching is teaching.....(AJ's is gonna jump in and correct my Zen) As far as an idea for the group....addictions are very very common, unhealthy addictions are the problem.....they are a void...and nature hate a vacuum...soe the void gets filled with something..... too much food-too much drugs-too much sex, too much exercise...too much religion...too much too much.... they all seems to be interchangeable.... I guess if we are going to be addictive, we need to find the least harmful addiction.... maybe 2 small addictions instead of one big one.... good topic...lets see where it goes....Dxe videos are great.... russ

It wouldn't be very Zen of me to correct another's Zen, would it?