Anyone ever feel like....

There is actually a mental disorder associated with this issue, it's called something like  body dysmorphism (sp?).  Basically it's a disconnect between what you actually look like and what you see in the mirror.   I actually have to ask family members to point out people who are my size, because I ahve no idea what size I am at all.  At the gym I stand in front of the mirrors working out and as people pass by, I try to see if I'm their size or bigger.    I'm 6'1'' 234 lbs as of a couple of days ago, and I still see the 500 lb person in the mirror.  It's weird...but they say it can take years for your mind to actually catch up to your actual body.  Scott

My Harvard trained shrink at Duke has talked about this condition at some of our support group meeting. She says it takes your mind time to catch up with your body. It’s different for each person but the brain has an image of what you look like and it does not change overnight, she says it kinds of eases into the new you.

I am about 10 months out now from WLS and I have lost 216lbs. I went from 58 pants and 3-4XL shirts to 38 pants and L-XL shirts and my new size did not really sink into my brain till a few months ago when I got out my old Navy uniform from 1987 and put it on to take pictures for Tony’s “Men of WLS” calendar idea (see pics on my profile page). The pants were size 42s and the top fit perfect. I had not worn this uniform for almost 20 years and now it was too big. That blew my mind for a couple of days. That’s when my brain finally accepted that I wasn't 460lbs anymore. It still seems weird to me when I sit down in a chair that I use to rub the armrest on and I’m not even come close to them anymore. The other thing that is weird is clothes shopping, I can now fit into anything so I have actually pick clothes that look good and match and stuff, instead of just finding something that will fit my big a**.  I think people that have know us for a long time have the same imaging problem with the rapid changes we experience. They have an image in their brain of what you look like and you have changed that image in a short period of time so they need to catch up. My 85 year old mother has been telling me I am too small all the time now while I have an approx. BMI of 30. This is the same women that have pestered me repeatedly about losing weight for 10 years. She has seen me obese for the past 15 years so that is the image in her brain. She mean well but she doesn’t understand what is happening. Mom is slowly adjusting to the new me after the past few months. I still run into folks that I have not seen for 6-8 months and they are shocked and some don’t even recognize me. The complements are OK but I am still the same guys I was before just smaller. 

I think your right about our families having a distorted image of us too.  I saw my family at christmas time and i was about 20 lbs heavier then I am now.  At that time, they were telling me I shouldn't lose too much more.   I think that it's perspective...but at some point we have to take an outside guide and say "this is enough".  The other issue that clouds this whole process is loose skin.  I carried an abnormal amount of weight in my stomach area.  At 492 lbs,  my waist was over 74 inches.  Even now, at 234 my waist has been "slow" to shrink...it's down to 42.  I know a lot of it is skin, but when your exercising and losing weight, and your waist doesn't "catch up" to the rest of you, it's kind of hard to say, I'm closer to goal.  Scott

Yeah...I hear you all, and Tim I think you said it best for me too! It's taking my own "mind" a bit to realize that I'm down 113 and I've got lots more to go -- but I still "see" me in my mind. The older me. The fat me. That still is the way I see things.  On the other side, I do realize tho, that I've made progress. I can now sit comfortably in a booth at our local pub - and my belly does NOT even touch the table! I sit behind the wheel of my caddy and the seatbelt not only fits, but I can pull out like 8" or more. I can go up and down stairs like normal folks. And yesterday with our big snowfall, my wife and I shovelled our 60' driveway and the front walk and the snow-plowed-in front of the driveway too in like 3 hours (my back does hurt a bit today tho)! So, I've made progress, but as yet, I dont' "see" it -- all our friends tho are buying me cards, popping over to say "hi" and bringing me bottles of wine and I get more kisses and real hugs from the girls than ever before. So the rest of the world knows.... Just not me -- yet! :-) Jim

What an interesting post...especially because I can completely identify with it.  When I started at 340 pounds...the goal my doctor and nutritionist had for me was 175 to 180.  I was able to talk them down to 165....but they still wanted at least 170.  When I made it down to 155....they were not happy.  I was "tooo" thin.  Granted to me, I was (and am) still too heavy.  I would love to be 140...or even 145.    Most recently, I have been fighting to stay below 160.  I got up to 165 at Christmas and have trying to lose since...very difficult to do...very disappointing... the fight and battle.  I am currently in a size 32 pants (never thought I would do that... ) I used to dream of being in a 36...with a fantasy of a 34...now I so desperately want to be a 30.  I wear a man's small or at times a boys large (never wore a boy's large..even when I was a boy).  I so truly know where you are coming from...and it is an awful mind place to be...  if you find the answer to the head issues..let me know....