SUNDAY HUMOR

DAN PACKARD
on 2/10/07 11:21 pm - KOKOMO, IN
Well guys since today is Sunday I want to share a bit of humor with a ring of truth. Dan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let us bow our heads and say the Dieter's Prayer Lord, my soul is ripped with riot, Incited by my wicked diet. "We are what we eat," said a wise old man. Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can. I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain, But at my present weight I'll need a crane. So grant me strength that I may not fall Into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot curls be sated, That my soul may be polyunsaturated. And show me the light that I may bear witness To the President's Council on Physical Fitness. And oleo margarine I'll never mutter For the road to h*** is spread with butter. And cream is cursed, and cake is awful, And satan is hiding in every waffle. Mephistopheles lurks in provolone, The devil is in each slice of bologna. Beelzebub is a chocolate drop And lucifer is a lollipop. Give me this day, my daily slice But cut it thin and toast it twice. I beg upon my dimpled knees, Deliver me from Ju Jubees. And when my days of trial are done And my war with malted milks is won, Let me stand with the saints in Heaven In a shining robe, size thirty-seven ! I can do it, Lord, if you'll show to me The virtues of lettuce and celery. If you'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise The sinfulness of hollandaise, And pasta Milanese And potatoes a la Lyonnaise, And crisp fried chicken from the south. Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH! AMEN and AMEN
Dx E
on 2/11/07 2:07 am - Northern, MS
Thanks Dan!! I just got back in from church and missed that one this morning. "the road to h*** is spread with butter...." Reminds me of my childhood night time ritual- "Now I lay me down to sleep, with a bag of M&M's at my feet...." Have a Great One!! Best Wishes- Dx
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