9 months out.. ant the bug i****ting me..

Guys First I want to thank all of you for your support. I dont know were i would be without your help. I am 9 months out and am feeling awsome. I have lost 120 lbs of fat and gained 15lbs of mucsle down to 22% body fat. Here is the thing i have been getting alot of attention lately from woman and evan though i feel great and evan my dr's are speechless to the progress i have made, I still act like the fat guy afraid to be acepted. Is this common? I need to get other areas of my life handled and as of yet having a hard taking the dive.. Does anyone know if there is a perfesional for this kind of thing or any reading material... So i'm sitting here in my house on my 28th birthday reflecting on the changs mostly this life altering trip i took last year, and looking for ways to take the next step. Dan

Dan, Congratulations on losing a 120 pounds. Don't you wonder how you lived carrying that excess weight around? I think about it every time I pick up a 50 pound bag of horse feed, dog food, or water softener salt. When I weighed 330+ pounds I never thought of myself as a fat guy...until I saw myself in photos with my family. Then it was like hitting me across the side of the head with a 2 x 4. Boy, did I look fat! But once I could start to see my weight loss in the mirror I started to think differently of myself, and it took some time to accept the new me. Eventually I got to like what I saw. At the same time I started to get compliments on my weight loss from friends and co-workers. It was hard to accept them at first but I also learned how to say, "Thank you, I appreciate hearing that." Accept the "New Dan". I'll bet you are devastatingly handsome; plus you are young, fit, and healthy. Tell yourself that every morning as you shave. You are on journey that is changing your life forever so get used to it. You're doing great. May Your Lantern Burn Bright, Paul

You've had 27 years of being the "fat guy". Its gonna take a little while to accept and reprogram the NEW YOU. AT 28 you have so much ahead still, it will come with time I'll bet by you're 30th you'll in a limo with 6 women headed to Vegas to celebrate

Dan, Congrats on your progress! Many guys going through this process see therapists or "Ts" as we call them. While you may not be able to find one locally that specializes in men with our specific history, there are many that specialize in "mens issues". I would suggest working that route. I did, and it has been beneficial. My insurance even covers it, even though it did not cover my surgery. LOL Assuming you have insurance, check their list of local therapy providers in network, that would be a good place to start. You may need to interview a few to find one that you click with. Take care and good luck. JP

Dan, what you are going through is perfectly normal and quite frankly, if you think about it, you see it all the time in women - particularly any that either were heavy as a kid or always went after the jerk of a guy who always told them how inadequate they were. Many a gorgeous woman has this problem, and it has nothing to do with how pretty they are, but the years of being told how worthless they were. You have to break that cycle in your own mind. Need new tapes so to speak. Understand the past, but focus on the future. Our attitudes determine our actions and behavior. Step out in confidence with the ladies...the more you do, the more you will get comfortable at it. Don't get too excited about the whole thing. For me it wasn't until I finally got to the point where I was so tired of the emotional roller coaster I had been on in romance that I met my wife. Essentially, I was finally at the point of take it or leave it at the beginning of the relationship rather than the grand chase or hunt. That took all the nervousness out of it and I found a comfort level and relationship I never dreamed of. Funny thing about relationships. When you meet the right one, you just know and you feel foolish for all the emotions, fears, and energy wasted with all the others. So play some new tapes in your head. Confidence, relax, and take chances. If the worst thing that happens is you get shot down, that's no different than the "fat" you. As as you mentioned, the ladies are noticing - if they are noticing you're already ahead on the count. All the best, Greg

Guys, Thankyou so much for the help as always. I just seem to see myself as a fat man. I dont think talking to a ts is gonna help... The reason being i think i need to be shown the err in my thought proccess. I have seen my ts for years and i find she helps me alot for most other things but this. Most of my freinds have flaked on me and suddenly i find myself alone (not nessaserly a bad thing). The question is what helped you take those first steps of faith. sorry if i'm blabbin on. D

Dan what a trip this past nine months has been. We had our surgery a week apart. I think I understand where you are coming from. I have lost 120 lbs also and the compliments are hard to take sometimes. I just say thanks. But it is strange to hear how great you look so often. good luck on the rest of your journey Dex

Hi, Dan - First of all - congrats! This is really an amazing tranformation to be going through. I don't know if you've seen my profile, but my history is pretty wild. I had a lot of issues to go through before I got the surgeries done. So - let me put it to you this way. Last April, I weighed 630 lbs. Currently, I weigh about 370. Through a panniculectomy that removed 95lbs, and the weight loss since my RNY in July, I've lost somewhere in the range of 280lbs. There are people that have this surgery that weigh not much more than I've lost. Before my surgeries, I sat around all the time. The only time I got out of the house was to go to the doctor, and the occasional rare dinner out with my wife, when we'd just go up the street a few blocks to a restaraunt I knew I could comfortably get around in. Now, you can't hold me back. I still see the fat guy in the mirror. Even with all the things smacking me in the back of the head to show me how much I've lost, and how amazing my progress is. Stuff like going from a 9x t-shirt to a 3x. Going from an 80"+ waist to less than a 54. From not being able to walk to the car without getting winded and feeling like I was on afterburners to get that far, to, during a walk, turning around and suddenly realized I've walked around a mile in a strech. Even with all that - I still tend to see the fat guy in the mirror. My biggest advantage, though, is that I have an amazing wife who is going on this journey with me, and points it all out. So I count myself lucky on that mark. I think what you're going through is pretty normal. You'll eventually work through it and be healthy in both body and mind, and when that happens my friend, NOTHING will hold you back. I feel like I'm on the edge of an epiphany here with this weight loss and everything it's changed in my life - and I know the same will happen for you. Congrats again, and good luck!!

Congrats Dan! Great accomplishment. I can relate. Its hard to acccept the new me sometimes. i checked out at the gracery store last week and the cashier looked me in the eyes and smiled and kinda batted her eyes. As I was walking out, I realized she was flirting. That never happens to me and its hard for me to see me as others do. Hang in there, we will get there eventually! :)