Telling friends & family about surgery

I recently rec'd my surgery approval and date for lap band surgery at Emerson Hospital (January 25th). I am very conflicted about who to tell about the surgery....especially my parents. Both parents are very lean and very active and have never had weight issues. I KNOW they would not understand the need for surgery and would be very scared for me. I also have 3 children (2 still at home). Have any other members not told family members and how were you able to explain change of diet and behavior immediately after surgery. I'll only be at the hospital one night so that is easy to explain. I work from home so co-workers would not be a problem. I also am concerned about the "what if" something happens and I don't let me family know about the surgery. Any advice would be appreciated. Leslie 250/234/150ish

Hi Leslie Do not be concerned about telling your parents! I was at first but I told them they weren't too happy but I am an adult and I have a right to make my own decisions. You want to tell them because if something does happen that will even make it worse. I also didn't want to tell anyone at work but I told one person and then it got around so everyone knows! I am fine with it! I am not embarassed! It is hard to lose the weight especially if you have alot to lose you get so discouraged! My opinion is that you should tell your family and friends and if they dont understand then that is their problem not yours. I have heard of people not telling anyone and just saying that they are cutting down and that seemed to work. So if you are that worried about telling them you could use that excuse unless your parents are the kind will try to dig a little deeper. Well good luck and I hope everything goes well Stephanie

When I told my parents.. I came armed with facts and information for them to look over so that I didn't have to explain why the surgery was a no-brainer for me. Alot of people are very mis-informed about bariatric surgeries leaving them in the dark to how much safer they are nowadays and how much more skilled the surgeons are. When I told my parents.. I also did it in the tone of "this decision has been already made".. so really all they had to do is support me or not afterwards. My Mom is a professional dieter (and that works for her) so needless to say she took it very hard at first and almost refused to support me but after a little time and education she is now my biggest supporter. In fact.. she reads the profiles on this site everyday because she is so encouraged by how successful the surgery is. Before my surgery.. I only told those people who I needed to support me through the process. I too wasn't sure how I was going to tell people afterwards so I wanted to leave that open. Now that I have had surgery.. my whole frame of reference on it has completely changed; I kinda want to tell the world about it because I am so happy. It's such a major part of my life now that I can't help from telling/educating people about it. And.. I have been very surprised with how supportive everyone has been when telling them. Usually everyone knows someone or another who has had a surgery and who it has really worked for and and that has been really encouraging. Needless to say.. my telling everyone is quite surprising.. even to myself.. because when it comes to that elephant in the room.. echem my weight.. I am and have always been very private. I guess I just wanted to give you another way of looking at it. Whatever you decide.. good luck to you..

Hi Leslie Aside from my wife, I told very few people about my WL surgery. Your health is a private matter and if it makes you uncomfortable to disclose your private business to people, don't do it. You should definitely tell one tight lipped & trusted friend or family member about your surgery for support and for potential help if you develop problems during or after surgery. I told my parents that I had a gallbladder problem (which is true and also very common for obese people) and that eating makes me feel uncomfortable and I can't tolerate some foods. Good luck, Leslie! Remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation for your health decisions. Dave 318/185/185

I thought my parents and family would be against the surgery, too. I told my sister first, by email, and she immediately responded that she was 1000% behind me in my decision. Later, I took my mother out to dinner (without dad) and told her. She was shocked. Then she recomposed herself, asked a lot of questions, and then blurted out that she was thrilled for me, that she could never understand how I got so heavy in the first place since I ate less than the other kids and was more active and yet I gained all this weight. I believe she is the one who told my father, *****ally didn't want to discuss it beforehand. I suspect he was afraid something would happen. 3 of my other 4 siblings were great, too, and the 4th came around when he heard me snoring (I had sleep apnea) and realized what a problem this was. All have remained completely supportive to this day. One day, about 4 months ago, I was standing in my parents' dining room at some family gathering with everyone around the table. I caught my dad just staring at me. I asked him what was wrong, and he said I looked great and he couldn't believe how fit I looked. Best compliment ever! As for work and friends, I just told everybody. I'm not ashamed, and I figured if I told one person at work everyone would know anyway, so what the hell. It's been a great experience. I have lots of cheerleaders! Good luck with what you decide. People can surprise you! Mary Ellen