Becoming Confused

I am having my consult with the surgeon and after that I will get my date. I am unsure whether to have the surgery or not. It has been a long haul and I'm getting nervous/anxious. June makes a year. I have my consult on June 3. I've also been confused about which surgery I want. I am so beside myself. My Husband and my parents and in-laws have been trying to talk me out of it. I know that surgery is the best thing, but I'm worried about complications, especially now that the date is getting closer. Please Help with any words of wisdom.

Hi Brenda, I live just down the road from you in Templeton. For me it was also a huge and and very distressing decision, but once I made my choice I was fine. Now I am getting more nervous because my date is this Friday the 21. I chose the lap-band for several reasons. It is a less complicated surgery and recovery time is so much less. For me, knowing that this is a completely reversible sugery should problems arise is probably the one thing that stuck with me the most. Weight loss does tend to be slower but I have to tell you that most of the posts that I have read from those having the lap-band are pretty positive as far as weight loss goes. I cannot really give you any reasons for or against bypass surgery because once I chose lap-band I never looked backed. Lap-band is the one for me and on Friday I will begin my new life. Best of luck to you, Jill

Hi Brenda! I guess it all depends on your surgeon too. When you have your consult ask him which procedures he performs. Ask what the mortality rate is on each surgery he's performed. My surgeon only performs Open RNY and by doing all of my research research research, I chose to want an Open anyways. I can only recommend that you research all options before making your decision. This is a very personal decision. And only YOU can make this decision. Please don't let anyone pressure you to do it or not to do it. Also, what does your insurance cover? That will have a major part in it too. Once I told my husband exactly what the surgery is and went over it with him, he was cool with it and I have a wonderful support system at home. Even my neighbor is going to help me out. Once I made my decision to go ahead with the surgery, I am more positive that my life will improve for so many better reasons and it knocks out any of the negative. Although, I do understand the chances and risks. But in the long run, it will be so worth it. Good Luck Brenda! Research your butt off. Read up on all the surgeries and make your own decision as to what surgery YOU feel is best for YOU. Please let us know what you decide to go with. (((HUGS))) Erin

Hi Brenda. I know exactly what you are going through. I had Lap RNY surgery 5 weeks ago (4-12-04). I was 279# then and now I am 237. I had no complications with the surgery and virtually no pain whatsoever. I firmly believe that because I was walking around the day after surgery, I recovered very quickly. There was a 3 day hospital stay, and my stomach is irreversibly altered, but in five short weeks I am down over 40 pounds. The drawbacks include, taking vitamins everyday, taking zantac for the first year, possibly longer than that, the constant medical follow up to make sure you have no vitamin deficiencies, and counting grams of protein and water intake. Women need 45 grams of protein a day, and when you can only eat 2 ounces of something at a time, it can be tough to make that goal. The water intake is key, and dehydration is not pleasant. All that being said, I wouldn't change a thing. I have a checklist and I am on a schedule so I can easily meet my water intake and protein goal (I need 60 grams). As far as your family goes, I only told those I work with because my extended family are a bunch of nay sayers and negative gloom and doom mongers. My wife was and is very supportive, and that helps. I may ask specifically what your families concerns with surgery would be, I would bet they are unfounded. Life is about risks, and sometimes you need to take a small risk now for great benefits later. Also, I don't know your medical history, but if you are still relatively healthy but just heavy, the risks from surgery are diminished. Have you had surgery before? If so your risks are diminished even further, because you know you don't have problems with general anesthesia. Remember if you are diabetic or have high blood pressure, many people do not need any medication after surgery for those conditions. I went through the same process to have my surgery at UMass that you did, and if I were you, I would use the resources available to help you out. Behavioral Medicine is always there to help with dilemmas like what you are going through. Good luck, and write down questions for when you see the surgeon. Joe

Hi Brenda, I had my Lap RNY on February 25, 2004. It took me about a year reading and researching WLS before I made my appointment at the MGH Weight Center. Then another 9 months going through all the doctor appointments, support groups, etc before my surgery was scheduled and performed. There are so many emotions during this time. I was scared and worried about complication. Everyone does. But I knew it was the right decision for me. I made it a point not to tell anyone who I knew would NOT be supportive of my decision. I have a few friends and family I didn't tell because I knew they would try to scare me out of it. Of course you can't keep it from your husband and probably not your parents. Have they gone to support meetings with you so they can get educated on WLS? It has been almost 12 weeks since my surgery and I feel better than I ever felt in my life. I finally feel in control of my eating. I have 3 friends who had the surgery within the last year and they all feel wonderful. The first few weeks are hard, but after that it was smooth sailing for me and also for my friends. I think the majority of people do very well with the surgery. That's exactly what I hear at all the post-op support groups I have gone to. I have never thrown up once. I do follow the diet precisely and never overeat. Only had dumping syndrome 3 times, BECAUSE I ate the wrong things which were starches. Starches don't work well for me. My Lap surgery scars a barely visible. I finally am shopping in the regular size clothes - even though they are 16/18. But I am looking forward to being in a 10/12 someday soon! I started 12 weeks ago with a BMI of 42 and now I have a BMI of 34.5. About 45+ pounds lost forever. I only weigh myself at the Weight Center, so it could be more than 45 now I go next week again. No longer am I morbidly obese. Still obese but getting to the overweight numbers soon! From what I have read, researched and the people I spoke with the lap band does not promote the same weight loss that RNY does. I could be wrong, but that is my understanding. Ask your surgeon to help you chose the right surgery for you. My advice would be to NOT listen to the negativity. You have been through all the meetings and support groups (I assume) to find out everything you need to make an educated decision. Most people that have negative comments only hear the horror stories in the news and do not have same information we have. Good luck with your decision. Kathleen

Hello Brenda...I was in the same boat as you were on May 6th...nervous, anxious, excited, scared...My surgery was scheduled fort he next day, did not sleep a wink, wondered what I was getting myself into, and had to think long and hard to make sure this is what I wanted cause I knew there were possibly fatal consequences...But I am 13 days post op, down 17lbs..So I look back on all the fear, pain (cause it did hurt the first couple of days) and have decided it was all worth it...So keep your chin up and remember you have to do whats best for you....Denise