Trying to be Successful in the Face of Failure...!!!
Being a long term post-op weight loss surgery patient that failed is difficult enough when you are beginning to navigate through your life and trying to figure things out and you don’t even know how you will get back to that lowest weight. Everything I had experienced was gone due to my neglect and failure. Despite life’s cir****tances, it is very possible to be a successful weight loss surgery patient and there are many that are focused enough to get there. ANYTHING is possible!!!
Being a long term post-op patient that failed, I thought the odds were against me…..and so did my family who was of NO support whatsoever. I tell this story not because I want people to feel sorry for me, but for everyone to know that ANYTHING is possible if you want it.
When you are given a job to do with instructions, you follow everything and do the job or you don’t get paid. It’s like your everyday job. You get up, go to work and do your daily responsibilities. This is what generates your paycheck at the end of the week. With weight loss surgery, you have a program to follow from day one and forever post-op and the end result is pounds off and a healthy life.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the line I lost my focus on my everyday job as a post-op patient and regained 75 pounds back. In spite of the fact of my failures, I still started my own Support Group (Westchester’s Post-Op Friends) which is in its 2nd year and I still “PAY IT FORWARD" because I want people to know that there is no shame in failure. It is actually a learning experience. There will always be people that will give you the negatives of why you can’t make it. What they don’t realize is that if you focus on the positive, anyone can do anything however, you have to be open and honest enough to do the hard work. ANYTHING is possible!!!
This past year I became an OH Support Group Leader in an effort to better myself as a person as well as a leader. Unfortunately because of my inexperience as a leader, I lost some patients in my group because I wasn’t the example I needed to be. I allowed personal issues and feelings to get in the way of my professional position. Many situations that I regret today. I often wonder how things would be if I only was experienced enough to deal with situations that arose. Unfortunately, there is no going back. I can only go forward.
The recent events in my marriage have caused me to make some major decisions for my future that I never thought I would ever have to encounter. My husband, who is one of 8 children, had been placed into foster care as well as his other siblings back in the 60’s. It has been this year that his entire birth family has been found, much to the hard efforts of his older sister Brenda. Because of her hard efforts my husband has an opportunity to get back what he was robbed of 30 plus years ago. After a visit to Ohio and meeting the family, a few weeks later we decided that it was time for him to be with his family. After all, I was given 11 years with mine. It was his turn. This major decision became very easy for me because of the adversity and failures I have had to deal with in my own family that is non supportive and very negative. The love of my husband’s family also made this decision easy. Our official moving day is Tuesday, September 27th. That is when we get on the road and head to Cincinnati, Ohio to our new home which Brenda has labored hard and made beautiful for us. We appreciate and love Brenda very much who has graciously accepted us into the family.
As I embark on this new journey of my life, it will give me the opportunity to use what I have learned as a patient and hopefully find my way back to my original weight after my 150 pound loss.
My thoughts for you……………..
In your life, you always have opportunity regardless of the cir****tances to make changes if you listen and learn from those who have experienced the same issues that you have had. If you are fortunate to have someone in your life that can mentor you, use them. They obviously care and have a wealth of knowledge if they are helping you achieve your goals. When they are aware of your cir****tances, you will be surprised at how willing they are to help. Make yourself a “go-getter" if you have the desire to fulfill your goal. Identify your strengths and weaknesses and work at each one individually. There is value in everything you do no matter what the outcome. Attitude is EVERYTHING. The most important tip that I have, is this one. It does not matter how well educated you are, if you always have a bad attitude it will be seen by your patients and those around you and they will not approach you. You will become un-approachable. There is value in every experience. Even in the worst environment, there are valuable people who will be there for you to help you and build you up. Stand above everyone and let them see what you are about. While you are “PAYING IT FORWARD" be professional. If you can avoid it, do not engage in anything other than the help that someone needs. Wait for them to bring up issues and keep them private. Do not bring up someone else’s issues if it is not about you. There are times you will be entrusted with private information that is not for public knowledge. If people know that you are telling others, they will no longer trust to confide in you. Wait for them to look to you in helping them to find a positive solution to their problem. Ask for constructive feedback and what you can do differently to achieve your goal. Make sure you have a mentor. Someone you can trust to help you to navigate through your weight loss challenges. As you each get to know each other, you will both feel comfortable in your thoughts and words. In the end it will be great to hear positive feedback from your mentor. Find out what you can do better that will be most valuable to you. As you go through your journey, you will find lots of judgment and negativity that you must learn to ignore and turn a deaf ear. It is just their opinion and may very well be jealousy of your achievements. As long as you stand for who you are and what you want to become, people will see it. Actions speak louder than words and silence sometimes is a killer.
I look forward to your thoughts and comments. Please feel free to give me some feedback even if it is through private email.
Marie Edie….Bariatric Comeback Girl
www.bariatriccomebackgirl.com
