To Tell or NOT To Tell???

So I'm still pre-op for a revision to RNY - have to see my surgeon on July 19th and will get my date shortly after.

I've been struggling wether or not to tell my boss why I'm going to be out. See, she's the best boss anyone could ask for but she thrives on gossip and drama... my procedure would be right up her alley!
When I got my Lap-Band, I took a week of vacation and was back to work fully functioning without anyone knowing!   My weight loss was barely noticable, slow and minimal.

I pray that my RNY is going to have a more drastic result and it'll be more obvious.  I've been at this job for about nine years now and people have seen my weight yo-yo! 

I have 4 weeks of vacation time left + some personal and comp time but I have been thinking... that's what short term disability is for... I'd only have to use 5 of my own days and on the 6th day I'd be covered by insurance.

I consider myself a very private person and my weight struggle is NOT something that I'm proud of and it's really quite embarrasing to me. To broadcast (even just to the boss) is a big deal to me.  I have the blessing of my family and the few friends (that I have told).  I'm just really struggling with telling people at work.

I'm not worried about my liquid stages or eating smaller portions - I usually just close my office door or walk to to the picnic tables at lunch time... the only hurdle will be the one day a week that we go out as a group!
 
Anyone have any words of wisdom to share???

I wouldn't tell her, not if she's a gossiper.  If you trusted her, that's different, but everyone will end up knowing your business and you may not want the added pressure and comments from the peanut gallery when you're able to eat a small portion of a baked good or something, you don't need the food police at work!

For going out in a group, definitely eat something before you go.. have your yogurt or string cheese, whatever you are able to tolerate.  Then just have water at lunch.  Get your fluids in.  You can tell them you're along for the company and not for the food and switch the topic of conversation to them.. their kids, their hobbies, whatever it is that makes them tick.. get the spotlight off of you. 

Good luck!!

Hello.

I am new to posting.  I am going to Brigham & Women's on 9/14 for a revision surgery from the Nissan Fundoplication to the RNY.  I was debating whether or not to tell my work as well, again debating whether or not to use S-T disability (through Aflac) or vacation time.  I decided that I will put up with any gossip or anyone's "two cents" they want to through in because at the end of the day I am the one that has to live with my body and I try not to let anyone's comments affect me.

Best of luck with your surgery. 

I too am a very private person (I refuse to tell one side of my family!) and have always been embarrassed about my weight and the struggles it has brought me.  I told the necessary people at work and low and behold a ton of other people found out ... it gets so annoying how they don't talk to me about anything else except the surgery!  BUT there are also people who know and don't ask me everything under the sun about surgery ... good people and annoying people :)

So, if your boss is a gossiper and you are a private person maybe hold off on telling her the exact reason ... there is no shame in not telling people :) 

I tell everyone!! But that is just me! I feel like if my story reaches out to one person ...than my work is done!! I've just been so very open.

I lost 100lbs in like 7 months after my RNY - that IS noticeable. And most people for about the first year has a "deflating" look to them. I can spot a post op a mile away. I even thought for a while I had a very "sickly" look to my face.

So if you don't say anything ...how will you handle all of the questions? Granted, it's no one's business but if they think you might be sick or something they will ask questions. And then you will have the people who will want to know your "trick" to weight loss.

And losing weight that fast will be up for discussion!!! She will be gossiping!

Personally I choose not to tell anyone except my husband!! I told my family I was having a hiatal hernia repair done and now they think I can't eat because my stomache is upset and I'm having some gastritis complications. They do however know that I am intentionally and have been dieting. So they are amazed at the weight loss. I told them I went to nutrition counceling at the Brigham, which of course I did. I don't currently work so I can't help you there. Does your boss have to know the reason for you to use the insurance?? If so then I would tell her you are telling her this in this private!!!! That way when someone else says something she'll know she's to blame. Just explain to her that this is a very sensitive issue for you and you would like her discretion. It is a shame to use all your time. You never know you might need it after. I ended up back in the hospital for 11 days after my surgery. And there is no way I could have returned to work for at least 6 weeks. I still don't feel well most of the time. You can always lie like I did to everyone else and say you need a hiatal hernia repair to the rest of the people at work. lol That gives you an excuse for not being able to eat, lift, and losing weight. Good luck with your decision.