Please tell me there's hope...I keep asking "what the hell have i done??"

there is hang in there the first few weeks are the hardest for anyone , i went with chewables when ever i could for sure its alot easier too get done the pills , hang tight i will get better what your not able too eat now u might be able too eat later things change

Everyone is different - some struggle more at the beginning like you are. I ended up getting a really bad cold the day after I came home from the hospital. I was coughing my brains out and convinced I was going to die. You WILL get through this and feel better, and be THRILLED with the results. Hang in there, go to the support group - it's worth the travel and effort!

Oh Pj so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time....  I think you are one of those rare cases to be having such crapy recovery...   I don't think any of us tried to miss lead you....  IT WILL GET BETTER HANG IN THERE PLEASE!!!

I will be in Middleboro on weds at 6:00 for an appointment I'd be glad to meet with you after that I can come to you and give you some support!!!  or if you don;t mind sharing I'll come visit you in the hospital  just pm me if you like.....    

We would love to have you come the bridgewater meetings they are great and you are not alone...

Also don't listen to any lecture's let it go in one ear and out the other....   If I listen to everyone that lectured me... I would've never done the best decision for  my life.....   You will feel the same in no time!!!!   You did this for you and only you!!! 

I do like the lotion on the feet.... I my may try that with the bf...lol  

 Yes, I was there, too!  It is awful at first.  A few people knew I was having it done, and were supportive, but I felt so... alone.  It was awful.  I did regret it significantly for a long time.  Especially when I reintroduced "ground" food.  That was pretty bad.  There are still times I regret it b/c I just can't eat like I used to.. it hurts if I try to.  So I know it's working, and it is like "classic conditioning" so retraining me and how I eat which is wonderful and how it's supposed to work.  But sometimes I miss the "easier" lifestyle of not having to think about chew chew chew and slow slow slow.  


I had surgery Jan 6 and am 76 pounds down.  I have 49 to go.  The last two months have been slow going for me.  It's very frustrating and depressing.  But, I just started exercising last week and hoping that will help.  I hurt my shoulder my very first workout postop (at the 6 week mark) and still can not do any strength training, but was finally ok'd for cardio.  So, hoping that will be enough for me to get the weight loss moving again.  It's very frustrating and hard.  

But.. with all the struggles this brings, I've had the most profound joys as well.  I am not ashamed of my body anymore.  I love it.  I am not too shy to run in public anymore, I chase my daughter around outside all the time now!  I started wearing dresses again.  I stare at myself in the mirror and smile now.  Even naked.  My husband is so sweet, too.. one night last week we were snuggling and he said something about my scars being a map or something and I thought, you're crazy.  So, he showed me without any hesitation, without looking, just where each of the scars were in relation to one another.  I didn't think he'd even paid much attention to them, but he knows them and is proud of me taking this step, even though he was scared to death at the time.  I think he kind of likes it, too, b/c he's all scarred up from open heart surgery and central lines and feeding tubes so he feels less alone maybe?  Not sure.  But it's nice having his sweet support and recognition of it.  I don't know, it really meant a lot to me that my typically out to lunch husband knew exactly where each one was without looking.  

I also got my second tattoo.. took me 14 years, but I got it.  And I'm not hiding this one.  My first one most people do not know I have.. this one, I'm displaying proudly.  It's nice being proud of your own body instead of ashamed of it or hiding it.

Hang in there.. it will get easier.  And every once in awhile it will still suck.. but it's not supposed to be easy.  ;-)

 I had my surgery 5/11 and I was feeling the same way....still feel tired and not loving food at all...in the least...I have to say that I went to the bridgewater support group and bith my wife and I feel TONS better to be around people who understand.....with some laughter added....what a great group of people....
hang in there...I believe it WILL get better.....
julie